Tom Wood with google eyes

His eyes are like that because he is getting sunburned

Reasons why the potato famine was hilarious

1. It happened to Ireland, and anything that happens to ireland is funny
2. Once they ran out of potatoes they were screwed. Talk about over-dependance
3. Potato blight was originally an English strain of crop failure
4. The english stole all irelands food so they starved
5. They tried to cure potato famine by just growing more potatoes- which then died
6. Because it makes alan cross
7. because it makes ricky laugh during lessons
8. Because nobody helped ireland when it happened
9. the english, despite having taken their other food, only sent mediocre aid. Woo!
10. Because tom wood does not understand

Frock and Roll Ball

On sunday evening, a band called Battery Powered played amongst others in the frock and roll ball. They had a good performance, and an overally good reception from the crowd.

The highlight of my evening concerning us was when Bert Miller from 'Bert Miller and the animal folk' said that he liked our stuff and would come to see us again sometime if he was around.

We came prepared with a trick up our sleeves for the evening- in the sense that we had no sleeves! HAHAHAHS all around. KInd of. Possibly one of the lamer things we have done at a gig...

If there are any pointers to pick up from our performance on the night, it is that we need to do more songs that people know in order to be recieved well amongst people who have not heard us before. It is ok for our friends, because they already know our base set. A couple of ideas are floating around for potential covers though...

• Eye of the Tiger
• Let Me (we) entertain you
• A medley of : Pinky and the brain, Power rangers, Teenage mutant ninja turtles, pokemon, danger mouse, stingray (basically saturday morning TV themes from the 70s-90s...)

Pokemon of the week

I know it is not a pokemon exactly, but this week i am reviewing an item. The EVERSTONE...

Hm, lets see, the everstone... its a piece of crap. Can't stand it. It is a waste of one of prof Oak's aides in my opinion, they could have chosen something much more useful, i would have been happy with a poke ball to be honest.

For you non players (who aren't cool as a result), an everstone is an item you can give your pokemon that stops them from evolving. It is essentially useless to all experienced gamers.

Poor Dr. D. In any case, the everstone is awarded -1,000,000 out of 10. Anybody caught making any practical use should be shunned by society and sent somewhere where they don't want to go and cannot escape. Much like Ireland.

The Exterminator...

Yesterday morning i ran another competitive 10k race, this time at south devon college. This one was called the 'exterminator' and for good reason. First of all, it was a bloody hard race over some terrain that i didn't expect. Secondly, there was a fully functioning DALEK that started the race off!

It began downhill into stoke gabriel, and after having given blood the week before, i felt much better than i did at ivybridge- which was the day after i gave blood. So yeah, i started off really strong, because downhill really suits my running style. I was actually leading the 150 strong race for the first kilometere or so.

However, as fast as i was going, i was beginning to get worried. I was going awfully fast because of the downhill thing, but i really hoped there would not be too many hills. Boy, was i wrong.

the sad thing is i didn't realise that as far as you went downhill, i would have to run back up that distance at one point. So yeah, a good performance considering i started off too fast. Also, i got a free sports massage at the end!

Wade with google eyes

Oh my god its a Goat

The Cracker Challenge 2009

Oh man, was this funny.

It all started when we tried to break the world record for most crackers eaten in 1 minute, which i believe is 4. I was the first to step up to the plate (huh? pun?) and gave it my best shot.

Duffield's score: 1 and a half crackers

It was so tough. After 1 cracker my mouth was as dry as sand, and i had no saliva to moisten my food with! Possibly one of the hardest things i've done. It was then RICKY'S turn. This made me laugh so must by stomach hurt so bad... He just stuffed like 4 crackers into his mouth and couldn't breath or eat, i swear he nearly died!

Ricky's Score: 0. (but he threw up 4 crackers worth of crumbs in the yes centre and swallowed some dry cracker dust)

Then it was the turn of Graham. To be honest, i was disappointed. He was like, yeah lets do this, but as soon as he ate one he just spat it out, like peter griffin and the 'quality cracker barrel cheese'

Graham's score: Also 0. guess i won this!

Note: Then of course we went for the cracker eating iron man. Gotta say, ricky is a MACHINE AT ENDURANCE CRACKER EATING! he just devoured a whole pack in under half an hour.

You need enough blood to run a race.

Recently, i gave blood for the first time. It felt strange, but in all fairness i think it was probably worth it.
I would recommend it, unless of course you are Alan O'Brien, in which case, no one wants your Irish curry-ridden blood. No offense, but the potato famine was hilarious.

But thats not the point. I was scheduled to run the Ivybridge 10k the day after. I thought i'd be fine, but i wasn't. It really wasn't cool. How dare the NHS steal an eighth of my circulation for a good cause!

After 1k: "Hmm, this is strange, i don't feel like i'm running as fast as i usually do..."

After 2k: "Oh god, a hill. Ugh, its huge... energy... failing..."

After 3k: How interesting. All of the blood has disappeared from my hands and feet..."

After 4k: "I can't feel my feet! My legs hurt!"

After 5k: "Screw this, i'm gonna slow down and finish the race with my health intact"

After 6k: "I can't see the guy i was chasing anymore. How depressing."

After 7k: "I'm glad i slowed down a bit. running is hard when YOUV'E GOT NO GOD DAMN BLOOD!

After 8k: "Oh, there goes James Dent. He'll be pleased he has beaten me. Wait til he finds out i'm not even trying. hehe."

After 9k: "My energy is ... sadly LESS THEN 9000..."

After 10k: "Glad thats over. I'll go to sleep so i can make some more blood for next time"

I finished at 40 minutes 1 second. thats about 4 minutes off pace for me! but about 8 minutes off PINEHOUSE

Pokemon of the Week

POKEMON OF THE WEEK: VOLTORB

Hey guys, what is the deal with voltorb? this electric pokemon looks strikingly like a pokeball, but shares none of its characteristics.

First of all, as an electric pokemon, it knows moves like thunderbolt and spark, but also shares some of magnemites moves like sonicboom. To be honest, although electric pokemon are useful, this one is not the best the game has to offer. Regular stats, nothing special.

Actually, i kind of chose voltorb just because i fancied ranting about it. The whole concept is pathetic! a pokemon that looks like a pokeball, but the game just skimps on the explanation as why. I believe the pokedex says something like, "Looks like a pokeball, but remains a mystery... nobody knows... oooo00o." Rubbish.

similarly, this pokemon's primary attack is called SELFDESTRUCT! What is the deal?! It just explodes! Oh, and guess what, if you train it up, it learns EXPLOSION! unsurprisingly, just a more powerful version of selfdestruct. this attack just faints your pokemon and its opponent, gaining nothing.

A friend of mine also pointed out, "if it explodes, why doesn't it die? it faints, but is still alive when you heal it." Bollocks to that, its just plain stupid.

My rating: -1

Thats right, minus one. I just god damn hate voltorb. Also, i'm not going to review its evolution, electrode, because it is essentially the same! just upside down.

Cool Face?

this is me putting on my cool face think you can pull a better cool face?... ricky?

there was this dog, and it did a massive shit

Yesterday at running training, we did the timed club mile, just to see if we have improved from last year. In order to make sure that there was someone at the finish by the time me and Mike had finished, we set everyone off 3 minutes ahead around the course.

After they had gone, me and Mike had to wait on the start line. Just then, this random dog came up behind us and took seriously the biggest shit i've ever seen. We were like, oh man, thats just wrong. We then realised the wind was blowing in our direction, and the smell wafted towards us. We still had like 2 and a half minutes to go.

All in all, we had to wait on the start line with a massive shit sat behind us. I was so glad when 3 minutes was up and i could run away from it.

Pokemon of the Week

POKEMON OF THE WEEK: SNORLAX


So, snorlax... There are only two in the game, and you require a poke flute to awake them. This pokemon has possibly become one of the most annoying pokemon in the game because it limits your access to fuschia city and cinnibar island by FALLING ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!

It is annoying to fight as well, as it has a high defense, high HP and knows the rest move, restoring all its health.

However, should you decide to catch it, it is probably a good choice for your party. Despite the fact it is a normal type pokemon and does not have any super effective techniques, it is a powerhouse if you train it well. By teaching it the move snore, it is able to attack even when it is asleep. Being one of the heaviest pokemon in the game, the power of its body slam is awesome.

My Rating: 8/10

On the whole, annoying if your fighting it, awesome if you have a well trained one. Also, as a morbidly obese pokemon- why does it never die of heart failure? How unrealistic. I mean, PINEHOUSE

Battery Powered Rock!

Our recent spell of gigs have been amazingly strange.

Lets start with our gig at venue: Lets see. A flop. I think it is fair to say that we brought in 90 percent of the crowd on that night, which is understandable, given it was a thursday. But still, it sucks that we were able to pick out the few members of the public who were watching.

• A guy with dreadlocks and a kilt


• Some bald guy who danced to the bear song


• in the words of alan, 'some wannabe milfs'


• wannabe milf hunters

However, despite the poor turnout, we played well and our friends enjoyed it.

Onto the church gig: This was a whole different matter! practically everyone from the village turned out to watch the wide range of talents on display. We got an amazing reception from the crowd of churchgoers and Eden played well too. It was surprising miles better than the gig at venue, but you know how it is.

Next gig: Frock and roll, berry head hotel, sunday 17th May

Oh, ... PineHouse...

Due to a request on behalf of Ricky "A-huh-huh" Moysey, I have decided to explain to you readers the meaning of the word 'Pinehouse'.

As some of you may know, as time passes, creatures evolve and adapt to their surroundings. This is sort of what happened to the word 'penis'. This is fairly frequently used in conversations, you you can only expect natural selection to occur. Over a few days, the word 'penis' evolved to peinis, and as time went on it changed again to poynis.

This stayed at poynis for a while, until a new directional selection pressure forced it to become the word 'poinhouse'.

Finally, this word adapted to become the ultimate word- kind of like the apex predator of the vocabulary world... PINEHOUSE was born...

It has found a comfortable niche in the market, as a word nobody but us knows. Me and Ricky played a Dick and Dom 'Bogeys' style game with the word PINEHOUSE, and it was the most fun i had ever had... so far that day.

Which is funny because in the meantime wade and graham were in tesco, and as they were paying they heard PINEHOUSE!!!! from inside.

A-huh-huh...