Friday, 26 November 2010

Are those new slacks?

Why yes, yes they are.

On my day out with Ricky we went to a charity shop in Paignton and I found some black corderoy slacks with a 32" waist. Ideal. And guess what? 4 pounds. Take that River Island you idiots.

Vexingly, this photo took too much effort to take because of the shoddiness of my webcam. I had to set a timer and float on my piano stool to get them all in, and even then the photo itself could still be described as 'borderline poor'.

But thats not the point. I have new slacks. That brings my total of corderoy trousers to 2. An unimpressive but soon to be greater number that does at least show my interest.

Day trip with Rickster

Hahahahaha Rickster. He hates being called that.

So today I woke up next to Ricky in the garden room with the alarm going off. Snooze was pressed multiple times. Then the alarm was turned off. Ricky is the worst person for committing to getting up in the morning. When I woke again at 9:20, I woke Ricky up and said "I think we should get up now. What do you reckon?" Ricky's reply was to simply look at me then slowly shut his eyes again.

Well eventually we got up and tried to sneak away, wondering if Wades dad knew we were still here. We were instantly caught by their cleaner who was like "Hello boys". Damn. As we are both grateful for the beds for the night we left immediately to get breakfast in spoons, in order to not severely outstay our welcome. In spoons we had a fry up and I bought the ever present Colin Bache a hot chocolate. It was great. Colin told us that Santa had just landed on the harbour, and so we left at once to go and see him. Imagine our disappointment when we discovered the Santa that Colin was talking about was more of a large ornament than a guy with a beard.

We moved on through Brixham slowly realising that every charity shop only sold womens clothes. It was really awkward. Then out of nowhere, the phrase of the day came to light. While I was getting some money out of the bank, a homeless guy who sells the big issue wandered past singing. The lyrics were amazing...

"If I had a job, I'd probably get the f***ing sack, because I would never turn up"

That is a hit right there. The best thing about it was the merry tune he was singing these words to, as if he was very content with life.

So we caught the bus to Paignton and had a look around. We bought a can in Lidl, debated how annoying those Unicef and environment people that stop you in the street are, and walked past scoffs multiple times to get free chips. We then payed a visit to "Beard Man" in his t shirt shop, where I purchased my own RATP shirt. Swish. Unfortunately Beard Man will be moving somewhere else soon, as he in his own words is "fed up with retail". I mean who isn't.

Then came the stroke of brilliance where we decided to play Crazy Golf. I bet Ricky 2p I would get the first whole in one. And what do you know? I did. I believe my exact words of celebration were something like "Booyah! That 2p is mine, bitch! Cough up! hahaha" Realising that we could have taken way more pictures throughout this day, we decided to take these, of "our best drive", despite the fact its mini golf... Here is mine...

And here is Rickys. Mad style there Ricky.

So as the game progressed, it became clear that Rickys earlier claim of being "awesome at crazy golf" was not exactly entirely factual. After a 7, and a 6, it became clear that he was going to find it difficult to win. I beat him in the end by 10 points, which is cool. Also, just to wrap up this blog, here is Rickys "golf face".

My trip to Bath

I have been away from blogging for a while recently, because I went to visit my old friends in the wonderful city of Bath. To be honest, I was wondering as I left if mammoth bloggers such as Karys Munns would do anything for me to read soon but nothing had really appeared. However, I came back and low and behold first time back on blogger it was like BOOOM karys karys karys karys karys.... Check it out, they are pretty entertaining.

But anyway, Bath. It is a lovely place, and despite this I still hold with my decision to leave. It was all for the best. I arrived, on tuesday afternoon and made my way to the house on Grove street that I was supposed to be in this year. I was greeted at the door by Gareth, who let me in. We made conversation and chit chat and it was lovely to catch up. He had work to do, so I left him to it and went for a wander around town. I bought a Sonic collection game and some ales, and went back to wait for the others. Throughout the day, I hung out with Tom, Oli, Phil and the rest of the house and it was great. James Rooney was there as usual just like in Eastwood 4. The most shocking thing of the trip was definately this. Thats right, Phil Murphy grew a beard.

I pestered him all of last year to try it out on my behalf because I was incapable myself, and look what happened now.The evening came, and so we played guitar hero, watched naked gun and had much merriment to celebrate our friendship involving lots of ale, sainsburys vodka (I'll tell that story when it comes to it) and cider.

The next day was cool, I went back up to campus for the first time. A few things I didn't like was that because of refurbishment, I no longer recognised my own student bar. There was so much nostalgia there, such as being dressed as superheroes with jugglers, and staying up until 4 to watch the superbowl live. All of those memories were somewhat squashed now that the whole layout of the building was changed. I was not impressed, but the new design was more practical I guess (bigger bar)...
Also, I couldnt even gain access to my own library (I say my own, its not really) because I did not have a valid card.

In the evening I managed to catch up with some jugglers from the old club, and we went to the hobgoblin pub in the evening (delicious). We went on to the only club i feel comfortable in, DISCORD! Basically an underground rock club, which is awesome.

The next day was my last night in Bath. I was briefly locked out of the house in the morning, and so I wandered around in town and visited a few places that I had been to before. After a while, I took this picture of pulteney bridge and the Bath Canal.

Below is one of the biggest attractions of Bath, the abbey. This is why there are always so many tourists here all year round.

Fortunately I came back and Gareth was there to let me in again. I then spent the whole day getting awesome at guitar hero and awaited the return of my friends. Sure enough, they arrived during the early evening, bringing Putu with them. (the guy next to phil in his beard shot)
We then drank again... I discovered Crabbies alcoholic ginger beer, which was delicious. We got... well... drunk. The evening was rounded off by us all singing Christmas Carols loudly in the night and Phil doing a solo rendition of an Irish folk song "the fields of Athenry". I did film a video of Phil singing, but without his permission I would not put it online via YouTube because I fear it would blow all your minds.

All in all, sweet trip to Bath. Hope to go again soon.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

10 things I don't understand.

In light of Karys's post with the same title, I thought it would be a good idea to do something similar.

Ok, here goes, in no particular order...

1. Complex Maths.

Well there you go, big surprise. I can't do maths at all very well.When I learn it it doesn't stick in my head for any longer than it takes to do a test on the stuff. None of it makes any sense to me, but granted to those who can do it it is useful for most systems and computers. I tend to think in words and picture,s and numbers just sit on that like a Pint of cider on a pint of ale.

2. People's obsession with the Apprentice

I don't get this show or why people like it. To me it seems like a whole bunch of try hards on TV trying to be better than everyone in a really pompous way. To me, this is not entertainment, it is insufferable. Wade told me that it is a talking point to start conversation. For example, "...Did you see the apprentice last night?", presumably then conversation starts from nothing. Its terrible, but people watch it so they have something to talk about at college. This makes no sense to me, watch something better, then talk.

3. People who drink Lager

I stand my ground on this. Why drink Lager when Ale exists? Lager is tasteless and fizzy, and a very poor excuse for a beer. Ale is where all the happening is at. The problem is, there exists no popular commercial ale in can form at a reasonable price, which leads to the market being entirely saturated with things like Carlsberg. Ale is the way forward, and I am hopefully grinding this into my friends heads by now.

4. "Hooray Henrys"

For those of you that don't know what these are, it is those type of guys that wear nothing but jack wills clothing, they wear some half-arsed beanie hat thing (despite the fact they are not rastafarians) and they continually act pompous while talking about how much money they have. These people frustrate me because they clearly have no value for money and they do their best to make all of us feel inferior at all times.

5. The price of clothes

The price of designer clothes or anything with a label on it really makes me laugh. You all know the saying,  "you are only paying for the brand name" right? Well we all do, which made me so confused as to why people still did things like spend 30 pounds on a t shirt or 70 pounds on jeans. I then realised that society has gone down the pan and these people ARE actually paying just for the brand to look cool. I personally prefer to be myself and wear clothes that look rad and feel comfortable. So begins the birth of a Hooray Henry when you decide to buy anything like this. Everybody knows, especially me, karys, ricky and I guess James, that the best clothes can be found in charity and curiosity shops.

6. Philistinism.

Oh god Philistines are like my one pet peeve. Anybody who claims not to like something or to say something is rubbish without having seen or tried it is a Philistine. For example, "Man, classical music is rubbish"... "have you ever listened to much?" ... "no, but I know it is stupid" There we go, Philistine.
These people are not in touch or even vaguely aware of anything that is not what they like or know. Now I don't mind, in fact I love, people who will say "metal music? I haven't really listened to it, so I couldn't say" Then you can listen with an open mind and although it may not be your bag, you can appreciate its qualities and why the fans like it.
The worst one is "Ugh, Warhammer? NERD" I had that all through childhood. These people don't know what it is, how to paint or game with it, but they are CERTAIN is it lame. Philistines, damn you all. By the way, the below picture is a Statue of Samson slaying a Philistine. Fantastic work.

7. The price of Red bull in comparison to other energy drinks

I mean, whats the deal. £1.20 for a can. You must be joking. I say no more. Other energy drinks are only minutely different in components and yet its another thing like Cola where everyone pays for the label. Its not even like you get to look cool wearing your brand, because you drink it and then its gone.

8. Why I can't grow a beard

I don't understand why I have been cursed with slow development. Me and Ricky have spoken about this a lot, and it sucks. Just the capacity to grow a decent beard gives you an air of masculinity and respect from your peers. And yet it looks like I won't grow one for quite a while. Also, everyone who has this ability doesn't do it and yet hates shaving? I feel this is a no brainer. One up for Alan, thats all I say.

9. Politics and foreign policy

I cannot pretend to pretend I know about politics or how anything to do with government works. I am not a Philestine however as I agree that politics is necessary to make everything work. I just haven't the faintest how. All I know is Boris Johnson is a hilarious man to watch, and he enjoys his ale. Good man, London is in safe hands.

10. Barbecue ribs.

All you need to do for this one is follow this link to a very early post.

barbecue ribs!


And that is all. Although there are other things, these are what mostly sprang to mind. Enjoy!

Friday, 12 November 2010

Retail Therapy = New Things!

Yesterday I went shopping with Ricky to help take my mind off things. And what comes as a result of shopping? Thats right, the purchase of objects. For full details of the shopping trip, see Ricky's post on his blog HERE.

Anyway, the shopping trip all started kicking off when we arrived in the junk shop in Paignton. This shop is fantastic, because it has basically everything that ever was or still is cool. Military jackets, retro video games and consoles, CDs, LPs, swords, musical instruments, clothes, ornaments, speakers, amps, jewellery, hats, circus equipment and merchandise of pretty much anything. I could add so much more to the list, but I feel like it would take too long. Just go visit it! If you are familiar with Paignton, is is that small shop near Paignton hospital towards the lights with a whole bunch of random objects outside and in the window.

Anyway, I always buy something awesome in there, you never know what though. So this time, I found a book I had been looking for for ages, "Charlie Dancey's Compendium of Club Juggling".

I suppose you are wondering what significance this particular book has to me. In short, Charlie Dancey is the other half of world famous juggling duo "Haggis and Charlie". I have actually had to opportunity to meet them both and watch them perform! If you want to read about the time I met them, I made a blog post ages ago HERE. I would seriously suggest watching the video. Charlie is the one dressed as the painter. Anyway, this is widely considered the most extensive and best book about club juggling there is, so I bought it.

I also bought a new gamecube memory card. This is not as cool as the book, but in foresight it means I will be able to play my old Zelda games again! Hooray!

Ricky also bought something, a genuine RAF blazer. I was considering buying it, but we both wanted it and it fit Ricky better than it did me. Besides, I already own an RAF "great jacket" (that is actually the name) which is really awesome.

Day 05: Brewing my own ale

Sorry for the lack of updates about how this is going, I have been very upset recently and not really in a state to do anything constructive whatsoever.

Anyway, the ale officially started brewing on roughly tuesday morning (giving the yeast time to wake up), so by my reckoning it has been on the go for 3 solid days. It all seems to be going quite well, although I have not tasted it or anything. There is still a fair amount of fermenting going on because I can smell yeast and alcohol coming from my barrel.

Yesterday, I took a hydrometer reading to see how far the process has gone and how much alcohol is there so far. I got a reading of about 1.020. I started with a reading of 1.042, so I know that it is working. I aim to get a final reading of about 1.002, which should work out to about 5.5% alcohol.

I plan to bottle the ale and begin secondary fermentation sometime on sunday afternoon.


A few days ago, my girlfriend Sophie left me. She has decided that she does not love me anymore.

That is all.

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Stronger Legs.

In the last few weeks, I have really ramped up my running training in the hopes of getting to the standard I was when I was about 17. And well what do you know, it seems to be working! My legs feel so strong right now and the running itself is so much easy and less laboured.

Some of you may know I am a runner and competed in many events back in the day, for example (see if you can find me)

I have won awards in South Devon Athletic and I am last years winner of the club championship. I currently hold the shield for the under 20s in South Devon Athletic, which I hope to retain this year. I was once the fastest member of the whole South Devon team and very successful in my pursuits. However, I went to Uni and broke my back, and I just never got round to training again from then. Ever. I have now decided that I want to get all that back in the year that I am taking off from education.

So I have been training hard for about a month and it is finally paying off. The guy that I am chasing at the club at the moment is Jamie Dent, and he is mid 30s and basically a machine built for just running. He aced the entire years worth of senior grand prix races without losing one and he is (was) so far out my league its untrue.
But how things have changed. Today at training we did a timed 3k race, and I was close to him, even briefly in front, all the way. He was actually pleased to have some competition.

Its kind of a mixed pot really. He beat his PB for 3k from 9:57 to 9:45, so a really good result from him. I set a PB for me of 9:48. I am slowly moving into his league. To give you an idea of this 'league', the person in third place was on 10:20...

So if all goes well I hope to knock old Jim Dent off his pedestal next year, as lovely as he is. I want my crown  and throne back.

Brewing my own Ale: Day 02

So the first day has come to an end. There has been quite a few developments in my mini brewery.

You remember as I said yesterday that I was somewhat concerned about the fact there was no activity in the air lock? No bubbles? Well how things have progressed. I came home from work today and went straight to the garage to check to see if the fermentation had begun. Much to my dismay, there was still no sign of gas production in the airlock. I have read that this is either due to contamination, dead yeast, or the gas is escaping elsewhere.

I was worried that I may have contaminated it with that can lid as mentioned before, but just for the hell of it I double checked the seal of my barrel. Low and behold, it was not sealed properly! Gas had been escaping from the corner of the barrel and not out the airlock. I confirmed this went I took the lid off the barrel to be confronted with lots of froth and a giant waft of 'ale smell'. I was overjoyed. The process of making the ale is actually under way.

Temperature seems fine and the yeast seems happy, all to do now is wait.

Monday, 8 November 2010

Foot Can.

Only Ricky, and possibly Wade will get this. Such is the magic of in-jokes.

To keep things fresh and going along nicely, here is one by James Wade. Fantastic effort my man, just fantastic.

So fresh! You know it. If anyone wishes to know what the bloody hell all this foot can stuff is about, don't hesitate to ask. However, you will be disappointed as we have made it far funnier than it actually is.

The Birth of a New Blog

Evening readers. Tonight, I have decided to create another blog to act as a daughter to this one. This new blog is  all about Ale, and my experiences with it. If you feel like reading a review from the point of an amateur, step this way.


Brewing my own Ale: Day 01 (woo!)

I would like to mark this as the day I first started what is hopefully going to be a long and illustrious history of brewing my own ale. As we speak, the ale has been 'pitched' and is sat in the garage doing its stuff.

I have never done this before, so I will understand if it is not great when it turns out in a few weeks. But hey, fingers crossed. I have followed all the procedures I should have done, so there is no reason why it shouldn't work. So here is what I have done so far, for all of those (all of you i guess) who are unfamiliar with the steps leading up to 'pitching' your ale.

First, I had to sanitise EVERYTHING. This was quite hard, as I was working in a garage full of other crap. If my beer falls down on anything, I think it is most likely to be contamination. Anyway, that aside, I had to wash what is essentially my entire brewery with water, and then soak and mix it all around with a bit of sanitising agent. To make things even harder, you have to actually wash the sanitising agent off all the stuff you just sanitised, unless of course you are attempting to poison your ale with chlorine- which i'm not.

I then dissolved a whole can of dark ale syrup and 1kg of brewing sugar in 2 litres of boiling water. I then topped it off with hot and cold water (to keep the temperature between 18 and 30 degrees, which is what yeast likes best) to reach just over 20 litres of ale. After much mixing, it was all ready to go. The mixture of all your ingredients before the addition of yeast is called the "wort" (pronounced "wert"). I read this mix is really vulnerable to contamination from anything that touches it, so I had to be really careful...

Unfortunately I dropped the lid of the syrup can in the wort. This can't have helped. I hope it didn't do too much harm, after all, i did fish it out with a sanitised brewing spoon. That makes it ok, right? Right?

As for the fermenting process, I am as of yet not there. Being a brewery noob, I thought if the yeast was happy it would start brewing straight away. To my alarm, I saw no activity in the water grommet (no bubbles).
I then went on home brew forums, fearing I had ruined my ale after only about 2 hours. Thankfully, I have been reassured that the yeast takes a little while to "wake up" even in perfect conditions. So I could see bubbles by morning, or by next morning realistically. Some brewers like to "wake up" their yeast beforehand in warm water and sugar, so I might try that next time if this doesn't go to plan.

The worst bit is the worrying about your mistakes, and the time factor. Right now, my barrel is sat on a heat mat with a blanket around it to keep cosy in the garage. I'll keep the blog up to date with how it is going, right up to the day I (hopefully) drink my first home brew ale.

Battery Powered lives on

Yesterday night I was messing around with my keytar and my pre-amp, when I decided I should begin the recording some of the forgotten Battery Powered songs that were never captured on a recording. It also gave me a chance to look at the recording quality for future reference. The old BP songs I have chosen to do are:

  • I Ate a Bug (And Now I'm Fine)
  • Brawl
  • Fission Powered Car
  • John the Goat
  • Purchase of Pie
If any of you can think of any more glaringly obvious ones that i have missed out, I'll see what I can do. Well, I started just playing around with the main riff, seeing if I could jazz it up a bit and what the bass should sound like. I wanted to make the technical sound of it be far and above how good battery powered were actually capable of sounding. Needless to say, much tinkering later it was ten past 2 in the morning. About 6 hours ago. I don't have a mic yet, so there are no vocals. Just the instrumental so far.

Well, leave a comment and let me know what you reckon. I might see if I can borrow a mic before I can afford a half decent one...

A few points worth mentioning is the fact that I don't own any software for drumming or a drum machine. The drums themselves were supplied using THE original multicoloured keyboard as seen in battery powered. They were not done as a loop, in relaity they were PLAYED using the standard drum kit setting. This of course explains why in places the timing and rhythm is questionable... You can kind of hear what I wanted it to sound like, but unless I spent one million hours re-dubbing the drums and bass we will all have to make do.

Sunday, 7 November 2010


Yesterday, I went paintballing for the 21st birthday of Adam Cowell. It is strange to think that some of my friends are turning 21 already. Of course, I am one of the youngest in my year, and they are some of the oldest in the year above. There was 8 of us, including Adam's next door neighbour, John, who is a heavy set scottish man.

We played for half the day, and after the first 2 games I got back into the swing of things and started killing everyone. John even bought me more paintballs for the "good of the team". Nobody took any massive damage apart from myself, but throughout the course of the day Rachel did get shot in the face by her own boyfriend, which she was not too pleased about.

There was an incident in one of the last games where I ran round a corner and surrendered 3 of adams team. I looked around, and saw that the coast was clear to move ahead and raise the oppostion flag for the win. Unfortunately, i did not spot Adam and his friend fletcher hiding behind some barrels. As you can probably guess, I casually started raising the flag and then turned in horror. I was left out in the open with no shelter and somehow 2 people laid off 5 or 6 shots into me, much to adams delight. I took a shot to:
  1. The ass
  2. The side
  3. The chest
  4. The inner leg
  5. The outer leg
This of course was great  for them. Not so great for me. This actually prompted the marshall to mention in the next game that "Once someone has been shot, they are considered dead, and unless you really hate the person, there is no need to lay 30 or 40 rounds into their carcass"

All in all, a good day.

However, once we had finished I was left with a tough decision. Go to the pub in brixham, or go to adams flat in torquay. I had to weigh up the pros and cons on the spot, and here is my decision.

Pros of going to Brixham
  1. The band is there with George
  2. It is still the ale festival
  3. Wade said he would lend me money to buy ale
Cons of going to Brixham
  1. I have no money
  2. I had no way of getting home because everyone would be drinking
  3. Its quite far away
  4. I could not stay over because I have work at 9 in the morning
  5. I would owe money to Wade
Pros of going to Torquay
  1. Hanging out with adam for his birthday
  2. Free party food
  3. I was promised a 4 pack of abbot ale
  4. I would not have to spend money
  5. I could get a lift home from Rachel
  6. I would not owe any money to Wade
Cons of going to Torquay
  1. Guilt for having missed an opportunity to hang with the band
  2. Miss out on some guest ale in spoons
So that was my day. Sorry there is no pictures. If anything pops up on facebook I will stick them on and remove this sentence.

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Sir Hiss: The best character of all time,

Hello everyone, today's post is all about the best character in any film published to date, Sir Hiss. He is a snake featured as the king's assistant in the disney film, Robin Hood. In my opinion, he has the best one liners and concepts that just make him so quotable and hilarious to watch.

In the video I have put below, is the best scene that Sir Hiss is in, according to me and Graham. In this scene, Sir Hiss is tasked with checking the archery contest for Robin Hood. Naturally, he hides inside a balloon and in order to survey the scene properly, he does a number of completely impossible things.

  1. He inflates a balloon from the inside 
  2. The balloon then floats, with no helium
  3. He uses his tail as a propellor to fly around (Genius)
  4. He does not suffocate
  5. He forms an air tight seal between the balloon and his body
So yeah, enjoy the magic of Sir Hiss.

As you can see, much to my delight he gets trapped inside a barrel of Ale. I also love that he is drunk when he comes out, it is good to know my favourite character is also a big ale fan! But what need does a snake have for a hat and a cape?

What is great is that he gets blamed for the whole incident and subsequently gets tied to a post using his own body.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

The problem with feasible lies.

When somebody is lying to you, the reason you may be able to tell is if you don't trust them, or perhaps if their story is not credible or realistic. And this readers, is exactly why James Rooney's "clever" trick on me worked so marvellously well.

In a facebook conversation, he casually explained to me that I would not be able to stay in grove street with my old Eastwood friends when I visited bath, because the landlady was getting touchy about guests. He proceeded to pad out the story with perfectly reasonable examples of this, one involving an incident with a housemates girlfriend, and another involving himself staying on the sofa. These were all reasonable, as I know the housemate in question does have his girlfriend over quite often, and I know that Rooney is always keen to hang out with them. 

He followed on by suggesting other places to stay, just as you would. He outlined the fact the housemates, who are all good friends of mine, were concerned about losing their deposit if they were caught again. So it all made sense. Alas, today I found out that he was pulling my leg the whole time! 

Here is a picture of the culprit, up to his usual mischief.

The purpose of publishing this picture of Rooney trying on a girl's T-Shirt is only to publicly lampoon him in the hope that I can take away some of my humiliation from being so easily tricked. I also have on good authority from Oliver Jefferies that he continued to wear this shirt for the rest of the evening.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

A time before PineHouse? Surely not.

Thats right folks, I was curious to see what I was writing about when I first started this blog ages ago. I was shocked to find a list of Ricky's most hilarious quotes as of march 2009! I read down the list and found that his most famous quote of all, "PineHouse!", was not there. Here is a printscreen.

As you can see, no PineHouse. I know, there seems to have been a time before PineHouse existed. So here is a new list to update Rickys finest quotes.
  • PineHouse!
  • Got any condames?
  • Thats my ass.
  • Toilet.
  • Bigger venue!
So there is just a select few to keep up to date.

Because Rooney can't read

As you may be aware, James Rooney can't read- he is a mathematician you see, so he can only understand numeracy. Therefore, this post is just for him- in binary.



Those of you that wish to translate it, just don't bother because it doesn't actually say anything. But because he can't read he would not be able to read this bit telling him it doesn't say anything. Yeah, two birds with one stone.

Monday, 1 November 2010

The REAL Halloweeners

So much for the old Battery Powered song. Turns out Ricky and the Pigeons are the Real Halloweeners. I mean come on, look what we did!

Edited by Ricky "Ricky" Moysey.

Everybody loves New Alan.

So who is this "new alan" that I spoke about in the last post? Well, new alan turns out to be an american man called Darryn, who has lived in both ireland and germany before moving to live in Brixham.

This whole thing started when we were in Wetherspoons enjoying the ale festival, and RICKY pointed out that there was a man at the bar who looked like Alan. We all turned around to look, and sure enough he did. Even with the mannerisms. We couldn't exactly hear what he was saying, but he was waving his arms around and pulling some very alan-esque faces and expressions- he also seemed reasonably drunk. That is as far as it went for the time being, until later.

After some more ale, nature called and I had to go to the toilet. New Alan came in moments later and went in the urinal next to me. We acknowledged eachother, and I said to him, "you know, you look awfully like our friend alan." That is where it began. As we were washing our hands, we introduced one another and exited the toilet. As we left, my peers noticed I was conversing with this new alan guy, and so he came and sat down with us. Here is a picture that Kylie managed to get on her phone of new alan.

As you can see, the resemblance to actual alan is uncanny. The more we spoke with him (and the more drunk we got) the more we realised how similar to alan he actually is! After more drink, the bar finally closed. We then moved on to Jacks, which was still open. New Alan came with us! He was very entertaining, and the whole evening was excellent. However, New Alan completely vanished just before we were about to leave... We all went home and slept.

The next day, I texted New Alan to see if he was still alive. No reply.

However, the day after that, Kylie confirmed that he is still alive, because he attended the next performance of fiddler on the roof (Tradition!) dressed in a halloween costume. Classic new alan I say. I am told they all then went to the pub after.
I look forward to seeing new alan again and having some 'banter'. haha