Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Dubstep remixes people.

Recently, I have started experimenting with listening in on a tiny bit of another relatively alien genre to me- "dubstep". Once again, to my rather inaccurate knowledge, it appears to be music with often big drops, and a new phenomenon to me, 'wubs'.

You will probably understand what wubs are if I tell you that it is that sound you hear in some modern music that is pretty bassy and goes "...wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wubwubwubwubwubwub..."

Anyway, never being much of a fan of popular song I found a few dubstep remixes that somewhat some-up what I like about dubstep. First of all, combining my favourite disney film with dubstep. Hercules rules! This mix is my a band called Henpeck, and the song is titled 'kill hercules', featuring the fates, and of course samples of Hades...

Some of you who are listening to this kind of music for the first time may be wondering why it was so... uneventful. Which is what I thought at first. However, like most music there is always a context and a frame of mind that it will work well in. So listen again, but imagine you are in a club with giant bass speakers and you are drunk out of your mind. ... So you see my point? Classic drunk dance moves need not be particularly complex, as dubstep simply requires slow arm movements and slow headbanging. Ideal. In search of even better and more awesome dubstep remixes I found this today.

When they start the team rocket motto I nearly died with amazement. If this came on in a club situation or scenario and I had had something to drink, I may nearly explode. So you can see why it has its appeals. It is by no means my favourite genre of music but it definately has its place and when used correctly it is a fantastic weapon!

Various Grime terms.

Only for the second time ever, I have read my timetable wrong and arrived at work 2 hours early. I suppose in hindsight it does give me time to do some catch up blogging.

So I'll begin with some things I was talking to Big G about earlier in the car. Big G is a big fan of this music genre called "grime". To my understanding (that may not be accurate at all) it is kind of like english rap, where the subject matter tends to be self boasting. Here is the general gist of most grime songs I have heard. ...

"I have more money and girls than you. Also, I am great at sex. You are rubbish, and you are not rich or very cool. My music is excellent and will make lots of money, and yours is terrible and not worth listening to. Did I mention I am rich"

That seems to be mostly it. Anyway, some of these grime artists sometimes throw in some puns which are quite amusing, but in most cases they seem out of place.

To my knowledge there also seems to be some kind of 'clique' or 'communion' of grime artists that refer to themselves as "BBK", aka "boy better know"... It seems that rather than a club, it is more like a brand or something, and only people that one artist called JME lets in are allowed. Still, boy better know doesn't have any relevance to actual literal meaning I find, as it just appears to say 'young man should probably have some knowledge'.

Whether this is relevant to anything in the grime scene I have no idea, but I am not saying it is wrong or useless. ... That would make me a philistine.

Another section of this post is my understanding of words that claim to be english. First of all, "Parring".

I was told by big G that 'parring' or he/ she/ it 'pars' is the casual insulting of people and generally being very slightly arrogant. Essentially, not parring enough seems to mean that as a grime artist you are appearing too nice, not boasting about your assets or laughing at other peoples misfortune enough.

Secondly, misrepresentation of the verb 'to spray'. Contrary to its common term, it means (grossly enough) to improvise rapping into the microphone. So yeah, rapping on the spot into a mic to the point where you are quite literally spraying out words. Nice.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Ah it all makes sense! Annoyingly...

A little while ago, I checked the stats on this blog to find that the majority of people looking at it had been looking for clown clothes or pictures of the pokemon Onix...

I thought perhaps that it was because Onix was popular, and that people actually cared about my Pokemon of the week movement. How I was wrong.

Doing some more delving into where my blog traffic was actually coming from, I discovered some very interesting plot holes and things that didnt make sense. Out of all of my blog posts, the one in second place with most views of all time was about 150. But in first place, was my pokemon of the week post about onix. So how many people do you thing saw this post? ... nearly 4000. Thats right, essentially a difference of 3750 views between first and second place.

Nobody likes Onix that much.

So I did even more delving into my stats down to exact links people followed to get here. Sure some came from twitter and facebook, but then I discovered something hilarious. (Get ready for this)


People were finding my blog by searching for the picture of Onix I searched for, that I used in that exact blog post about Onix. When I looked even closer I found something which explained everything. The original website I had taken the picture from no longer existed. ... Which means... People are now linked to my blog to copy the picture!

To prove that this is indeed the case, follow this link and click on the picture of onix second down on the left.

How frustrating that not as many people care about my Pokemon of the Week reviews as I thought. They are just greedy Onix-picture-copyers.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Pokemon of the Week: Lickitung and Lickilicky

Well, someone asked me a few weeks ago to review Lickitung, and I can't for the life of me remember who it was I promised. So whoever you are, you better appreciate it! Especially because in my opinion, Lickitung is just another of those pointless pokemon to make up the numbers and add material to perhaps one or two anime episodes of Pokemon.

Well look at it firstly, it is fat, pink and has a big mouth and a big tongue. So essentially, it is Michael Moore without a beard.

Everything about this pokemon from its concept to its attacks and stats are unappealing to me. For a start, it is a normal Pokemon- in more than one sense of the word. Normal by type, and totally un-special in every other way. Only able to learn moves like tackle, slam and take down (note: basically ALL variations on just tackle... ¬¬), you can never hope to be super effective or beat anyone with one of these. You would have to be a considerably higher level than your opponent which isn't always feasable, and it totally cancels out the experience you may have with type effectiveness. If you have been playing for as long as I have, type effectiveness is not something you want to throw away or underestimate.

Curiously, Lickitung was not actually able to learn the move 'lick' until generation II, which I think is a massive faux pas by the creators.
Another interesting Lickitung fact is that in other languages, its name is just as onomatopoeia-based. In german, its name is just "Schlurp". Well that is obvious. In french, it is called "Excelangue". This is my favourite, because it just translates as 'excellent tongue'. Wayne Campbell would be proud.

In the later games they decided Lickitung should evolve for some reason, just like the rest of the unevolving Gen I Pokemon like Electabuzz and Tangela. And so I present to you, ... Lickilicky...

I am not even going to bother with this Pokemon, because everything I have said about Lickitung still applies in terms of crapness.

Neo Cortex.

Ah, yep I still got it.

The other day I had a scare where I thought I had lost my ability to draw as well as I once did. Speaking to Paddy I am considering getting a Deviant art account or something to make sure I still draw once in a while. Given that my uni course I will hope to be doing involves lots of art I should probably start drawing regularly again.

And that is why I drew Neo Cortex, the first bad guy I genuinely felt like I personally wanted to apprehend.

Monday, 13 December 2010

The Quest for Chinese Food

I may be corrected exactly on this, but I believe Big G and Ricky left Brixham at around 2 o'clock with cravings for chinese food. They ventured to Paignton because they felt that it was more likely that a chinese was open at lunchtime there. They first went to The Magic Bowl- which was closed. Damn.

They gave me a ring and came to pick me up from my house, and so I joined the quest to find a chinese that was open. After a while we left my house and headed towards the waterside area of Paignton because we knew there was a few places there.

The first stop was Jade Palace, and then Alans Cantonese takeway. Both of Which were closed. Damn.

So we gave up on Paignton giving us anything that was open. Everything didn't open until 5. We then decided to drive back to Brixham to check out the Sampan takeaway and Wongs House. Both of which were closed. Damn.

That was the last straw, so we just decided to go back to Big G's house and wait. When the clock struck 5, we decided after a 3 hour wait we were still going to get chinese and left the house again. Spoiled for choice after having looked and most of the chinese shops in the area, we decided to go for Alans Cantonese takeaway because we missed Alan O'Brien.

Finally, we made it into the takeaway. We were actually very much delighted, but there is a reason why Ricky and Big G don't look particularly pleased. this was about my 15th attempt at taking a picture which was actually in focus. My camera on my phone is very prone to shaking and blurring photographs. Alans was very good, I would recommend it.

Another Classic Thursday morning

Need I say more? Well another incident involving staying at the wades after a night of volunteering. We then went for a breakfast at wetherspoons and sat around there for a while. When I realised that the last of a very impressive ale "Big Sister" was eing sold and there was not too much left.

One thing led to the other, and we were drinking alcohol in the morning. We stopped because I had work later and being drunk at work would not be great. 

Impromptu Christmas Dinner

A little while ago, I was invited to come and sing at Coombe Bank, a home for the elderly in Brixham. I would be providing the after dinner entertainment for them by opening my mouth and making noise in a seasonal fashion. 

As it was a thursday morning, naturally me and Ricky were asleep in the Garden room. We woke up and snuck out the house and made our way to the home. That morning, I text Sophie Bower, who was organising the event. I said something like "see you soon, I'll be there in a minute. Is it ok if Shaky comes along as well?"

Well you can see the mistake.

She replies with "yeah sure, but who is Shaky?"

Friends of Ricky or anybody that wishes to include the word "Ricky" in their subject matter for text based messaging will understand that if they use predictive text, the combination of buttons that spells Ricky just spells Shaky instead most of the time. And now since then, Sophie has just called Ricky, Shaky. Much to his "delight".

See? Delighted. Well we were actually, because we got Christmas Dinner. And party hats. The funny thing was, because Ricky had turned up pretty much impromptu, there was not enough Christmas dinners to go round. We decided to share one between us. Curiously, the woman in charge of the dinner distribution came over and said "for some reason there is one extra". So we ate that one two. As you can see, me and Ricky are getting quite... close. Sharing a bed at the wades, and sharing eachothers dinners. No need to be suspicious though, ladies...

I also had a rather... dashing... party hat. The room was so full of christmas spirit you could hardly breathe.

James bower was there too, with another classic example of fantastically amazing seasonal headwear. This was the happiest he looked all afternoon, as he spent the majority of his time looking after someones baby. He enjoyed a beer after dinner though so all was not lost.

As the dinner drew to a close I popped in my backing tracks and sang a variety of christmas and regular standards for the residents. In the true spirit of 'christmas', I finished my set with a Song from Hercules. Sweet.

Ricky's Catchphrases are everywhere

I was busy playing Zelda: Twilight Princess at home when I came across a part in the game where this dialogue came up.

This arises from one of the early sections of the game where you are capturing the tears of light from the dark insects, in order to restore light to Faron woods. And yes, one of Ricky Moyseys classic phrases, "Get away Bugs" features in a line during a cutscene.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Top 12 Quirky Items I own.

Karys asked me earlier to construct a blog post along these lines. When I realised her post was top 12, I figured I would be clutching at largely metaphorical straws, given that I do not own nearly as many quirky things as Karys. However, I have tried very hard and found these things.

1. Original RAF GreatJacket

Well for a start my favourite item of clothing I have ever bought is this jacket. It is a real life RAF jacket, with all the insignia and original buttons. I would imagine Paddy will be drooling over the standard issue RAF gold buttons... Anyway, it is the single warmest piece of clothing I own, and probably the coolest. It can be worn with buttons undone, for the "Jack Harkness" look.

Alternatively there is buttons done up for mega warmness and zero wind chill.

2. Original starter deck from when Pokemon became cool

Well it is what it is. These are difficult to find other than on ebay, but this pack of miscellaneous Pokemon cards is very much a part of my childhood.

3. Purple Shoes!

I have been wearing purple shoes for nearly 2 years I think. This is my current pair, as you can see, rather worn. They used to be a much brighter shade of purple, but hey, they have been very  faithful to me.

4. Atari Lounge/ Sleeping trousers

This is what I wear when I am at home and don't have to leave the house for anything. When it is cold, I wear them in bed as well. Lovely design, and fascinatingly comfortable.

5. Zelda collectors edition gamecube game

This is another thing which is generally hard to come across anymore, considering that the gamecube and their games are all moot. Anyway, long story short, this game contains the original 8 bit zelda games and of course both Ocarina of time and Majoras mask. This is how I sometimes spend my time, wishing I lived in these games.

6. Original grey GameBoy

Another rare piece, surprised it actually still works. If I am correct with my rather patchy memories, I first played Mario on this. Good old super mario land 2. I had to clean it up a lot as there was a lot of dead skin on it (gross) and about 10 years of dust from the attic.

7. Ale Bottle collection

The collection itself is actually upstairs and I couldn't be bothered to bring it all down. So here are a few of my favourite ones. The very first bottle of King Goblin I ever had, and the very first bottle of Goliath Ale I ever had, two of my most treasured beers.

8. Home Brew ale setup

This is all dismantled in the garage at the moment, but it has served me well when I used it to make my very first batch of home brew ale- which I must say has turned out tremendously. Once again, I would go take a picture, but I can't be arsed and you are really not missing anything. The magic is in the beer not the equipment. Essentially it is a barrel and various measurement stuff.

9. A diploma in Ale

Aha, yes. As of this morning I was awarded distinction for my diploma from abbot ale. It took a lot of research, but then again you can never know too much about beer. If you fancy earning this award too, google abbot ale diploma. So below is the actual certificate!

10. Poster from Battery Powered's first gig

The first live performance of my first band. We played in a church during the interval of a wind orchestra. Not exactly rock and roll (or was it) and we were very nervous. I kept one of the posters for the sake of nostalgia.  To this date, it is the only gig that the whole band has ever been asked for autographs- that includes Ricky and the Pigeons gigs.

11. Entire Collection of Circus equipment

As you know I own a whole menagerie of Circus stuff, from unicycle to ball. I would like to think this is quite quirky. Not many people have all these things. I have a variety of stage and practice balls, clubs, diabolos, devilsticks, and a unicycle.

12.A Roland AX Synth (Keytar)

Well lets face it, nobody has or can afford one of these. It is actually the single most valuable thing I own, even beating my computer by miles. It is just such a cool instrument.


There is one good reason why you should not drop a breezeblock on your finger.

It hurts.

I can assure you that violet is not the colour of a healthy nail. In the above picture is my injured finger in comparison to the same finger on the other hand. Fantastic.

I suppose you may be wondering how this happened. Well on saturday morning I was still just about at the pub from the night before with the band minus Wade. Later that morning I tried to successfully pick up a breezeblock and put it down somewhere else. This evidently failed as I left my finger underneath it as I dropped it down. Needless to say my poor nail is now only hanging on by the skin it is attached to.

Contrary to the name, breezeblocks are not in fact in any way akin to "breeze". They are much more akin to, i don't know... concrete.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Pokemon of the Week!

I was just having a look at my blog stats, and I discovered a number of my hits came from my old pokemon of the week movement. In fact, I got over 200 hits in one hour when I had Onix as the Pokemon of the week. Interestingly, via google, the searchword "Onix" was the second most popular keyword that people found my blog using. It is ironic that I gave Onix such a poor review.

So, I shall continue with pokemon of the week as of now in an effort to attract more hits. Here Goes!

Pokemon of the Week: Zubat, Golbat, Crobat

Well, Zubat. I have to say I do actually quite like this pokemon. Although if you are not intending on catching one (which I usually do) they can be rather annoying if you are travelling through caves such as Mt. Moon. I personally think that the sprite for Zubat and Golbat in the generation one games was terrible (weren't they all) but since then they have greatly improved, so the pokemon is now also aesthetically pleasing.

Zubat has come considerably more useful as the invention of generation IV and V came out, because it allows you to teach golbat "fly". I don't know about you guys, but I was never a fan of any of the bird pokemon apart from perhaps Dodrio. Golbat being able to fly was amazing as I did not have to lay my hands on another greasy pidgey again in order to travel.

When Crobat, the third and final evolution of zubat was introduce I basically wet myself when I saw the stats, because they were incredible. I believe it has the highest speed of any poison pokemon., and one of the highest attack stats. Although a lot of my friends were fed up when they discovered you had to use the somewhat abstract concept of 'happiness' to get golbat to evolve, I find it is easy if you have to patience to just walk 100s of steps for ages. If you actually research into happiness, you will find it is in fact quantifiable. Crobat is in fact my favourite pokemon, for the record.

And so you see, Zubat has become increasingly useful as the generations have come along, and more powerful poison attacks have been created.

I rate Zubat: 3/10 ... lets face it, he is pretty useless on his own. No real power until later but hey it looks cool.

I rate Golbat 6/10 ... Good pokemon if you can teach it fly, but it is nothing special.

I rate Crobat 11/10 ... Ok so I am biased on this one. But it is fantastic.

James Corden- Yay or Nay?

Having just read another very convincing argument by Paddy Turpin, I can entirely see where he is coming from. He is right- You CANNOT assume you are funny because you are loud and fat. It is not cool to find yourself funnier than others find you, and that seems to be the way it has worked out. And yet, he is now very famous? It doesn't make sense.

I cannot pretend I watched any of Gavin and Stacey, but from what I hear it was quite good, as its followers seemed to never want the series to end. By my reckoning, I can see how James Corden would fit in as his character, "Smithy", as the loud, fat one. Most comedies need an outspoken and overweight character on the sidelines to provide that sort of slapstick. Lets face it, a fat person ripping their trousers is funnier than a thin person. So my opinion on Gavin and Stacey is- moot. Sorry, but it is.

As for Horne and Corden, well I saw most of that series. It was just on at a convenient time. I watched the whole first series, and my conclusion (and wade will back me up on this) is that there is only ONE funny sketch. Just the ONE. In the whole series. Here it is. I personally thought this was quite funny.

This just plays on the fact he is fat again, but in a funnier way that just stating it. However, the rest of the series was all cringeworthy. And not the good kind of cringeworthy. More the kind where "oh god, they thought this was going to be really funny".

I will say that James Corden, despite his continuous references to being fat and laughing at himself in a high voice, definately has a place in shows where you play a character. For that reason, I actually think their film "lesbian vampire killers" was really good. I'll admit to that.

However, I will side with Paddy when we both say that HE HAS NO PLACE in any of the following:

  • Panel shows
  • Presenting anything
  • Advertising
  • The music industry
Where you could possibly see the use of a fat and loud character in a fictional setting, the same can not be applied to anything else. He can be just irritating. Like that world cup show he did- during extra time they had all had a few beers because they went on air late. He was a little drunk when they went on air, and he thought it was hilarious because he was loud, drunk and fat.

In the words of the wise Patrick Turpin: "Who else but Corden?!"

Britain may or may not have Talent

As some of you may be aware, I am now what would be described as 'in' the competition, Britains got Talent.

I will be pitching my voice against the entire wealth of Britains talented singers, dancers and performers, and who knows how far I will end up. So far, I have done one audition, in Cardiff. I was always kind of confused how these kind of competitions worked, because I thought surely people would just audition for the chance to see simon cowell... Well I finally understand now.

There are semi-non-televised preliminary auditions, where the judges are the producers of the programme itself. So in a similar way to X Factor, rather than performing to a live audience with buzzers, it is just you, a camera, and 2 producers. They then take your footage and review it to let you know if they want you in the show. And so people, this finally explains why there are some really really shit people who make it onto the show. Albeit depressing, it seems you stand a chance of getting to meet the judges if the producers deem you humilating to yourself, in a way that would provide laughter for others...

So I have been to Cardiff now, and done just that. I now await "callbacks" in approximately January or February time. I'll keep this posted if I hear anything!

Also, for those of you who have never heard me sing, allow me to direct you to this facebook page:

My singing page on facebook

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Welcome to the BlogoSphere: Paddy Turpin

Whenever any of my friends decide to start a blog, I always plug it via mine so people can see it. Paddy is a long time friend of mine that I travelled all the way through the same primary and secondary school with. Guitar player in local band, "the Quincies", artist and now blogger. Please follow his blog as his well constructed argument about why deck chairs are better than all other chairs is hilarious.

Puddles of Paddy: the blog of Paddy Turpin

Have fun!

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

10 things I love...

1. Ale.

Well that is a no brainer. You all know by now that I love Ale and everything about ale up to and including brewing. I have a separate blog just for my ale, find it in the sidebar. This all started sometime a few years ago when I realised that beer was actually drinkable because not all of it was horrible, like fosters or carlsberg. I had some dark ale this one time and was quite content. It then stemmed to asking for "whatever dark beer you have" at pubs and has now moved on to a deep-ish understanding of a variety of ales, ale types and breweries. Ale is great and everybody should drink it and nobody should drink lager. There, I said it, and yes I am rather opinionated about this.

2. Juggling and other circus skills.

Other than music and running I would say this is a big chunk of my talent and hobby time that spends itself quite freely. I learned to juggle three balls in about year ten and since then I have been slowly progressing in other things as well such as diabolo and unicycling. It got to the point where me and Alan were just known as "those diabolo guys who hang around outside juggling". Lots of the lower school knew me as "that circus guy". I am now pretty competent at most of these things, hence the title of this blog page. I specialise in unicycle gladiators, complex 3 ball tricks and balancing nowadays but I can do a little bit of almost anything like slackline, clubs, contact ball, devil sticks, card manipulation, and hat tricks. There are more but I will just show you some photos.

3. Corderoy?

I don't know why, but I just love corderoy at the moment. It doesn't seem to be for any particular reason either. I like a good pair of slacks, what can I say? Much to the disappointment of James Wade who would rather I actually looked cool and in a band with thin jeans. Well we have a compromise. I wear slacks when we are not on stage, and skinny jeans on stage. Thats cool. I NEED more slacks and corderoy things, it is the perfect material for looking rad and being comfortable.

4. The Rat Pack and their associates by timescale and similarity

By this I mean, I love the rat pack. I love the people that were also singing at the time in a similar genre that were not officially part of the rat pack (i.e. Bing Crosby, Andy Williams). I love anybody who still in this day dabbles in this genre and style of singing (i.e. Michael Buble, The Royal Crown Revue). This is my favourite music of all. Say what you like about the popular stuff, and I will bridge the gap between philistinism and ignorance and tell you that it is all not to my taste without a second thought. That is the reason I even started to listen to this stuff, just because music is not the same and has lost everything I ever liked about it.
As you know, I am also sort of part time a male solo vocalist, and these fantastic men serve as my source of inspiration and material. Each song tells a story and if you find the right ones you can turn a bad day good again.

5. My friends and by extension the band.

I love my friends. None of them are the same, and I know I can count on them. The band rocks and we are getting on well and practising hard. The key is laughing and in jokes. I say no more.

6. My Keytar

Yes, my prized possession. the most valuable thing I own. I wanted one of these for years and finally got one. No more is the humble piano player just a metaphorical sidecar in a band set up. Now I can have all the fun of being a lead instrument without the hassle of having to learn a new instrument such as guitar. I am not trying to be a lead guitarist, I just love the whole concept of a lead synth player! Obviously it has no cohabitation with the band which is a shame for me but not unexpected to be fair. But hey, there is always open mic nights and jam nights which would be fun.
It is such an awesome instrument, and a force to be reckoned with in the world of synthesisers!

7. Singing

It was never this way when I was young. But it just turned out that singing was something I picked up very quickly. I never realised that teaching yourself vocal control and tone was difficult for some people (honestly) so I took it for granted and did nothing with it of any significance.
Nowadays, I practice every day out of choice with no aid of a teacher, and I am seeing how far I get into Britains got talent. I have been told I have a very mature voice for my age, but once again I just take that for granted. I guess I just totally lucked out with this, but I love being able to sing to all the old songs that I love and to make (mostly old) people happy.

8. Pokemon, Sonic, Crash and Zelda.

Where would I be without these games. I genuinely believe that these 3 games actually shaped my personality, morals and habits and whathaveyou. Pokemon is the game that I have played the most. EVER. 100s and 100s of hours well spent! I am a well of knowledge for pokemon, but have in recent years been made redundant by bulbapedia. I love this game and to be it will never lose its lustre.

Crash Bandicoot 1, 2 and 3, Crash team racing and a few others. Fantastic games. They have since somewhat gone down the pan, but the old games are still dear to me. Crash 1 is the only game I have ever completed 100%.

Sonic the hedgehog was probably one of the first games I ever got addicted to just like you would drugs or something. The old Sega megadrive games rocked so hard because of... well everything. Gameplay, music and just the fact they were awesome ok?

The legend of Zelda. The music in this game just literally overwhelms me. Coupled with fantastic gameplay in all of its games this game is not unlike sex, to play. The latest installment of this series was a game I played from start to finish non stop for 37 hours- it was that good. I cried during parts when it became sad or just so emotionally powerful. You may say that is lame, but I now know what it takes to be a hero in real life.

9. Apple Crumble

It is my favourite food. Best served at room temperature, after having been left under foil for at least a day. I could just eat crumble after crumble until by body gave in somehow.


I don't want to type anything for this. Some things are best not thinking about.

Friday, 26 November 2010

Are those new slacks?

Why yes, yes they are.

On my day out with Ricky we went to a charity shop in Paignton and I found some black corderoy slacks with a 32" waist. Ideal. And guess what? 4 pounds. Take that River Island you idiots.

Vexingly, this photo took too much effort to take because of the shoddiness of my webcam. I had to set a timer and float on my piano stool to get them all in, and even then the photo itself could still be described as 'borderline poor'.

But thats not the point. I have new slacks. That brings my total of corderoy trousers to 2. An unimpressive but soon to be greater number that does at least show my interest.

Day trip with Rickster

Hahahahaha Rickster. He hates being called that.

So today I woke up next to Ricky in the garden room with the alarm going off. Snooze was pressed multiple times. Then the alarm was turned off. Ricky is the worst person for committing to getting up in the morning. When I woke again at 9:20, I woke Ricky up and said "I think we should get up now. What do you reckon?" Ricky's reply was to simply look at me then slowly shut his eyes again.

Well eventually we got up and tried to sneak away, wondering if Wades dad knew we were still here. We were instantly caught by their cleaner who was like "Hello boys". Damn. As we are both grateful for the beds for the night we left immediately to get breakfast in spoons, in order to not severely outstay our welcome. In spoons we had a fry up and I bought the ever present Colin Bache a hot chocolate. It was great. Colin told us that Santa had just landed on the harbour, and so we left at once to go and see him. Imagine our disappointment when we discovered the Santa that Colin was talking about was more of a large ornament than a guy with a beard.

We moved on through Brixham slowly realising that every charity shop only sold womens clothes. It was really awkward. Then out of nowhere, the phrase of the day came to light. While I was getting some money out of the bank, a homeless guy who sells the big issue wandered past singing. The lyrics were amazing...

"If I had a job, I'd probably get the f***ing sack, because I would never turn up"

That is a hit right there. The best thing about it was the merry tune he was singing these words to, as if he was very content with life.

So we caught the bus to Paignton and had a look around. We bought a can in Lidl, debated how annoying those Unicef and environment people that stop you in the street are, and walked past scoffs multiple times to get free chips. We then payed a visit to "Beard Man" in his t shirt shop, where I purchased my own RATP shirt. Swish. Unfortunately Beard Man will be moving somewhere else soon, as he in his own words is "fed up with retail". I mean who isn't.

Then came the stroke of brilliance where we decided to play Crazy Golf. I bet Ricky 2p I would get the first whole in one. And what do you know? I did. I believe my exact words of celebration were something like "Booyah! That 2p is mine, bitch! Cough up! hahaha" Realising that we could have taken way more pictures throughout this day, we decided to take these, of "our best drive", despite the fact its mini golf... Here is mine...

And here is Rickys. Mad style there Ricky.

So as the game progressed, it became clear that Rickys earlier claim of being "awesome at crazy golf" was not exactly entirely factual. After a 7, and a 6, it became clear that he was going to find it difficult to win. I beat him in the end by 10 points, which is cool. Also, just to wrap up this blog, here is Rickys "golf face".

My trip to Bath

I have been away from blogging for a while recently, because I went to visit my old friends in the wonderful city of Bath. To be honest, I was wondering as I left if mammoth bloggers such as Karys Munns would do anything for me to read soon but nothing had really appeared. However, I came back and low and behold first time back on blogger it was like BOOOM karys karys karys karys karys.... Check it out, they are pretty entertaining.

But anyway, Bath. It is a lovely place, and despite this I still hold with my decision to leave. It was all for the best. I arrived, on tuesday afternoon and made my way to the house on Grove street that I was supposed to be in this year. I was greeted at the door by Gareth, who let me in. We made conversation and chit chat and it was lovely to catch up. He had work to do, so I left him to it and went for a wander around town. I bought a Sonic collection game and some ales, and went back to wait for the others. Throughout the day, I hung out with Tom, Oli, Phil and the rest of the house and it was great. James Rooney was there as usual just like in Eastwood 4. The most shocking thing of the trip was definately this. Thats right, Phil Murphy grew a beard.

I pestered him all of last year to try it out on my behalf because I was incapable myself, and look what happened now.The evening came, and so we played guitar hero, watched naked gun and had much merriment to celebrate our friendship involving lots of ale, sainsburys vodka (I'll tell that story when it comes to it) and cider.

The next day was cool, I went back up to campus for the first time. A few things I didn't like was that because of refurbishment, I no longer recognised my own student bar. There was so much nostalgia there, such as being dressed as superheroes with jugglers, and staying up until 4 to watch the superbowl live. All of those memories were somewhat squashed now that the whole layout of the building was changed. I was not impressed, but the new design was more practical I guess (bigger bar)...
Also, I couldnt even gain access to my own library (I say my own, its not really) because I did not have a valid card.

In the evening I managed to catch up with some jugglers from the old club, and we went to the hobgoblin pub in the evening (delicious). We went on to the only club i feel comfortable in, DISCORD! Basically an underground rock club, which is awesome.

The next day was my last night in Bath. I was briefly locked out of the house in the morning, and so I wandered around in town and visited a few places that I had been to before. After a while, I took this picture of pulteney bridge and the Bath Canal.

Below is one of the biggest attractions of Bath, the abbey. This is why there are always so many tourists here all year round.

Fortunately I came back and Gareth was there to let me in again. I then spent the whole day getting awesome at guitar hero and awaited the return of my friends. Sure enough, they arrived during the early evening, bringing Putu with them. (the guy next to phil in his beard shot)
We then drank again... I discovered Crabbies alcoholic ginger beer, which was delicious. We got... well... drunk. The evening was rounded off by us all singing Christmas Carols loudly in the night and Phil doing a solo rendition of an Irish folk song "the fields of Athenry". I did film a video of Phil singing, but without his permission I would not put it online via YouTube because I fear it would blow all your minds.

All in all, sweet trip to Bath. Hope to go again soon.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

10 things I don't understand.

In light of Karys's post with the same title, I thought it would be a good idea to do something similar.

Ok, here goes, in no particular order...

1. Complex Maths.

Well there you go, big surprise. I can't do maths at all very well.When I learn it it doesn't stick in my head for any longer than it takes to do a test on the stuff. None of it makes any sense to me, but granted to those who can do it it is useful for most systems and computers. I tend to think in words and picture,s and numbers just sit on that like a Pint of cider on a pint of ale.

2. People's obsession with the Apprentice

I don't get this show or why people like it. To me it seems like a whole bunch of try hards on TV trying to be better than everyone in a really pompous way. To me, this is not entertainment, it is insufferable. Wade told me that it is a talking point to start conversation. For example, "...Did you see the apprentice last night?", presumably then conversation starts from nothing. Its terrible, but people watch it so they have something to talk about at college. This makes no sense to me, watch something better, then talk.

3. People who drink Lager

I stand my ground on this. Why drink Lager when Ale exists? Lager is tasteless and fizzy, and a very poor excuse for a beer. Ale is where all the happening is at. The problem is, there exists no popular commercial ale in can form at a reasonable price, which leads to the market being entirely saturated with things like Carlsberg. Ale is the way forward, and I am hopefully grinding this into my friends heads by now.

4. "Hooray Henrys"

For those of you that don't know what these are, it is those type of guys that wear nothing but jack wills clothing, they wear some half-arsed beanie hat thing (despite the fact they are not rastafarians) and they continually act pompous while talking about how much money they have. These people frustrate me because they clearly have no value for money and they do their best to make all of us feel inferior at all times.

5. The price of clothes

The price of designer clothes or anything with a label on it really makes me laugh. You all know the saying,  "you are only paying for the brand name" right? Well we all do, which made me so confused as to why people still did things like spend 30 pounds on a t shirt or 70 pounds on jeans. I then realised that society has gone down the pan and these people ARE actually paying just for the brand to look cool. I personally prefer to be myself and wear clothes that look rad and feel comfortable. So begins the birth of a Hooray Henry when you decide to buy anything like this. Everybody knows, especially me, karys, ricky and I guess James, that the best clothes can be found in charity and curiosity shops.

6. Philistinism.

Oh god Philistines are like my one pet peeve. Anybody who claims not to like something or to say something is rubbish without having seen or tried it is a Philistine. For example, "Man, classical music is rubbish"... "have you ever listened to much?" ... "no, but I know it is stupid" There we go, Philistine.
These people are not in touch or even vaguely aware of anything that is not what they like or know. Now I don't mind, in fact I love, people who will say "metal music? I haven't really listened to it, so I couldn't say" Then you can listen with an open mind and although it may not be your bag, you can appreciate its qualities and why the fans like it.
The worst one is "Ugh, Warhammer? NERD" I had that all through childhood. These people don't know what it is, how to paint or game with it, but they are CERTAIN is it lame. Philistines, damn you all. By the way, the below picture is a Statue of Samson slaying a Philistine. Fantastic work.

7. The price of Red bull in comparison to other energy drinks

I mean, whats the deal. £1.20 for a can. You must be joking. I say no more. Other energy drinks are only minutely different in components and yet its another thing like Cola where everyone pays for the label. Its not even like you get to look cool wearing your brand, because you drink it and then its gone.

8. Why I can't grow a beard

I don't understand why I have been cursed with slow development. Me and Ricky have spoken about this a lot, and it sucks. Just the capacity to grow a decent beard gives you an air of masculinity and respect from your peers. And yet it looks like I won't grow one for quite a while. Also, everyone who has this ability doesn't do it and yet hates shaving? I feel this is a no brainer. One up for Alan, thats all I say.

9. Politics and foreign policy

I cannot pretend to pretend I know about politics or how anything to do with government works. I am not a Philestine however as I agree that politics is necessary to make everything work. I just haven't the faintest how. All I know is Boris Johnson is a hilarious man to watch, and he enjoys his ale. Good man, London is in safe hands.

10. Barbecue ribs.

All you need to do for this one is follow this link to a very early post.

barbecue ribs!


And that is all. Although there are other things, these are what mostly sprang to mind. Enjoy!