Monday, 14 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Some of us went into Ollie's room to pass the time while the pudding was being cooked. As I did this, I couldn't help but spot Tom sneak up to the fire alarm with a plastic bag... I said to Phil, 'Is Tom tampering with the smoke detector?!' to which Phil turned around to him and disapproved.
We explained to him that the 100 pound fine tied into tampering with the smoke detector is not worth a serving of hot christmas pudding!
In all seriousness though, he was concerned about any extraneous smoke generated from the pudding as it was lit. Me and Phil put another dampener on his theory however, when we pointed out it can't possibly make more smoke than some of our food has done in the past... to which he had to agree, thinking back to Haaziq's toast incident.
So we all sat down with the pudding, and were just about to light the pudding after dousing it with some brandy. Somebody said, 'merry christmas!' Then somebody else said 'Happy birthday Jesus!'. It was then that we realised the wierdness of the situation because it wasn't even christmas yet. As we were contemplating this, Philip Murphy came out with another one of his ever popular one-liners, hence the title of this post.
"We could think of this as Jesus's birthday pre-lash"
This was of course hilarious. So Tom lit the pudding, and God said it was good. Not that I am religious, but I'm sure that if he is real he would approve of the lighting of a tasty, scrumptious christmas pudding. Admittedly, it wasn't very spectacular. It didn't quite provide the billowing fireball as some of us may have expected. Not exactly... mayhem. But anyone who has seen burning alcohol before will know that it catches with a flickering blue flame that lasts around 10-15 seconds on a pudding. This was very hard to photograph, as not only does it not show up on the camera, the 'flickeryness' of the flame avoided each shoot. believe it or not, here is a photograph of the pudding, actually on fire!
We ate the pudding with a nice helping of single cream provided by Mark, and we had a semi-festive half-house gathering in the kitchen. This was also good. Pleasant chit-chat and casual mockery of certain individuals filled the room, as a christmas shot of brandy was drunk by all. Even non-alcoholic, Phil.
Above is a picture of Phil, before the shot. Below is a picture of Phil, after the shot! what a lightweight... Although its probably fair to mention that his position does not have anything to do with his inability to handle a drink, he was in fact just quite tired.
Saturday, 12 December 2009
As my Devonshire friends will know, the water in Devon is lovely. Very lacking in all the minearls which bring about hard water, its also clear, and refreshing. The water in devon is soft, and is brilliant for making a nice cup of tea. So you can imagine my horror when I first went downstairs to have a glass of water, only to find it is hard, 'mineraly' and a bit cloudy. It tasted like absolutely what I don't want from a glass of water. Zero refreshment, only a slight change in facial expression as it is drunk. (You know that kind of slight shudder and wince akin to a child sipping beer)
I then went to Games Workshop in bath to buy a few paints for some of my Warhammer. I got speaking to the manager about life back in Paignton and Torquay. You see, Alan worked in the Torquay store funnily enough, and has since moved to bath. He asked how I was finding it here compared to Paignton, to which I replied 'The water is shocking'.
He seemed surprised. Sipping at his mug of tea, he explained that he hates the water in Devon. Finds it tasteless and vile. He said the water here is lovely. I couldn't help but disagree and explained my predicament with the variation between soft and hard water. He chuckled, and nodded. 'Ah, It'll grow on you', he said.
I will now with a heavy heart say that he was in fact correct. When I first came back to Devon, I took Devon water back to bath with me because I couldn't stand the taste of it here. But now, I don't feel the need to do that. In fact, I had a shock when I found I slightly dislike the taste of Devon water now... I class myself as a convert. It is depressing, considering how much I used to love Devon water, but at least now I can refresh myself here in peace.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
So here it is, me delightfully modelling it. Lovely. As far as practicality is concerned, I must say it is both comfortable, warm and soft. Rarely do you get aesthetically pleasing clothes that are also cosy. This is the definition of a win-win situation.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
He referred me to the website for the software, and i swiftly downloaded it and instantly began mucking around with it with ollie and phil. the resulting video is the result of us just sliding around.
Expect to see more, as this was only my test run!
After a few seconds of discussion, we decided on the local KFC. The actual ordering part of the meal was uneventful, as one would expect. We just ordered a bucket of some kind between us and made our way. Oh, and someone smashed a jar of mayonaise as we left- but we were too hungry to bother gawping at their mishap.
The plan was, Phil would go to mass in town, and we would meet him back at home. But this never came to pass. Ollie and I spent forever waiting at the bus stop waiting for the correct bus. What was so painful is not that there were no buses, but all 8 of the buses that drove past were not the correct one! It was beginning to get beyond a joke.
My phone rang. It was Phil, fresh from mass. He was surprised to find out we were still at the bus stop, and said he would be with us in a few minutes. Ollie knew exactly what was going to happen, and so do you guys probably. No sooner had a put the phone down did an orange bus come around the corner. Statistically, this shouldn't happen, but it always seems to. anyway, we were like, Phil is gonna miss this, but to our happiness we spotted phil trotting around the corner.
We made it.
When we got home, we ate a lot of chicken. Even Haaziq, who generally doesn't make much conversation, pointed out it was a lot of chicken for 2 men. He was right. but we soldiered on.
Here is the chicken, before it was eaten.
Here is the chicken, after it was eaten.
Simple. Job done.
Monday, 7 December 2009
Hey there, I would like to introduce you to Polly, my new Dictaphone. I’m sure Karys will once again approve of my naming of inanimate objects, but now it doesn’t feel right not doing it! It is called Polly because it can repeat things it has heard! For those of you with confused expressions on your faces, Polly is a standard name for a parrot. (I shouldn’t have to say this, but statistically, one of you probably won’t get it)
Anyway, she is very clever, because she is going to remember my lectures for me, and remind me of things I have forgotten in them. I must add that this is no excuse for falling asleep in lectures- I don’t want to hear snoring on the tape! She also has voice recognition dictation, so should I choose to, I could ask her to write what the lecturer is saying. She can play music, and alter the speed of any recording which could be fun. She will let me rest and learn, eat and revise, and listen to lectures I didn’t even attend if I’m ill! So it should be very useful!
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Gone from: Greasy grunge listener
To: Shiny-eyed respectable human being
I hear you ask, why change?
Well you see, in just over 2 weeks time I will be jetting my ass of to sunny Florida for Christmas. Now this suggests a problem with my hairstyle that I would rather avoid. I tan fairly easily, even on hot days in Paignton. When I go to Florida for a few weeks I tend to go a bit brown. However, looking at the photograph of my old hair, you can see that my entire forehead is obscured by thick purple and brown hair…
Therefore, given a length of time in the sun with little or no cloud cover, I will end up almost certainly with a brown face from the eyebrows down, coupled with a gleaming white forehead.
Hair grows back, but tan lines fade painfully.
I made this mistake (albeit not as seriously) as a child, when I went on holiday to Florida. I had short hair back then, but by my standards back then, it was fairly long compared to the current average. So when I got home, I had a haircut. Much to my 13 year old disappointment, I had a half inch line of white all the way around my hair line. This made my face look like a white kid wearing a brown mask.
So in this fragile stage of development at 18, I would rather not go through that again, especially because my hair was longer.
So there you are. A perfectly lovely anecdote about embarrassment and tanning. I’m glad I don’t have more.
I never batted an eyelid to these before. Well, I ate them, but never questioned their name. Let us start with the term ‘hole’ used in the name. This implies to me they are selling holes… which as we all know- are nothing. So, this means one of 3 things.
- They are misleading customers, giving them false information.
- Someone has invented a portable hole, finally. And yet its primary use is food?! No way man, I can think of many better places to put an instant hole.
- Morrison’s have developed a way of making you pay for less than you came in with, subsequently making everyone die of internal bleeding after making their customers eat small holes.
Secondly, I don’t know if you knew, but the whole concept of these so called ‘doughnut holes’ is that they are the bits of a ring doughnut that don’t get used, so are sold separately. This is farcical!
This gives the impression to consumers that doughnuts are produced in the same way as polos, whereby a machine punches a hole through a thick disc to make the finished product. This is of course absurd. A doughnut is simply a roll of dough joined at both ends, then baked and iced. ‘Doughnut holes’ have nothing to do with doughnuts, and are simply balls of glazed dough made by idiots who either lack the skill or can’t be arsed to make a real doughnut. So essentially, Doughnut hole manufacturers are the baking equivalent of identity frauds. They should sort their lives out and learn to make a doughnut like real men do.
This kind of fraudulent, heretical behaviour would not be seen in a good bakery, oh no. You really think that master bakers waste any dough by gathering up non-existent holes that were made as a by-product of doughnuts? No! Why? Because they have dignity and respect, that’s why.
Once again, perhaps this is one of those posts where I have thought too deeply about something trivial. I’ll leave that for you to decide- am I mad … or right.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Considering he is a regular reader of our blogs, I suggested he make his own. Fortunately for him, he did- he has even put the effort in to produce a witty story that made me ... 'giggle'.
As fellow bloggers, we should knit together our community, so I urge my current 12 followers to pass your patronage onto the Strutt. Just follow this link!
cheers. I'm sure he will feel both flattered, and... pressurised.
Also, congratulations to those of you who got the Brian Butterfield reference
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Anyway, this evening me and some of my housemates played a game of 'Articulate'. This is kind of like a more basic version of trivial pursuit, but there is verbal description similar to charades. The rules are, no saying the word your trying to describe, no ryhming, and no 'beginning letters' for hints.
It was fair to say it was a hilarious game, much more well known for the number of Cock-ups and gaffs made by some. The idea is there were 3 teams of 2, and one describes to his partner an object or word thats on a card. The other guesses, and hilarity ensues. As you can see, there are ample opportunities to make an arse of yourself by not getting something really obvious, or not explaining a really basic word correctly. Here is a list of memorable gaffs, faux pas, cock ups and howlers made by the players.
- Given the description, 'a parasite that feeds of your blood in the jungle in water', Phil did not instantly get LEECH, and preceded to say "I probably never would have got that one"
- When explaining words to his team-mate Mark , he passed on the word 'artery' because he didn't know what it was. It turned out his thought process was 'Artery? where they keep art? ... i thought that was a gallery...'
- It took him over 3 minutes to get CRANE from, 'a birds name that is also a construction machine'
- When describing 'Paul McCartney' he said, don't know who this is, but they have like a scottish sounding name. When revealed, his team-mate phil promptly exploded in rage.
- Tom could not name the lead actor from the great escape.
- In the all-guessing round, The description was 'When you are angry you get a...', to which tom said 'throbbing temple?'... The answer was in fact TEMPER.
- When asked to describe 'The gulf of Mexico' to phil, he started the sentence with, 'In mexico, there... S*** you cant say mexico...'
- Tom thought Tiananmen Square was in Moscow..
- Tom tried to describe the word 'Borstal' (as in confined training camp). He thought it was a person or a place name...
- When prompted with 'Something, rack- a shop in the high street that sells neckwear' he failed to get Tie Rack. once again, much to phil's disappointment
- There were more, I just don't remember
Monday, 30 November 2009
Prepare to be amazed. People with a nervous disposition should mute the computer. You are quite possibly going to crap yourself when you see what I have done. It is a feat of acheivement that far surpasses:
- The building of the golden gate bridge
- The world cup win in 1966
- Susan Boyle
- The success of the Numa Numa guy
- The votes for women campaign (oops sexism)
Feel free to try it yourself, and rise to the same god-like level that I have as a result.
Fun Facts about leekspin.
- The Song is actually a looped version of the song 'Leva's Polka' sung by finnish band Loituma. It was released in 1995.
- The looped version only incorporates the section of the song which is essentially scat singing...
- The Song has got absolutley nothing to do with Leeks
- The Song has got absolutley nothing to do with the girl spinning the leek
- The girl spinning the leek is called Orihime Inoue
- She is from the manga 'Bleach'
- The looped track is exactly 27 seconds long
- The animation of her spinning the leek is 5 frames long
So below is my first 'Accordio-Blog'. It is the video from when I first learned a few things on the accordion. (Yes, I know I said first world war in the video- I actually mean second world war.)
So there you are. Its true, I am currently working on the battery powered rock, but to be honest its not sounding brilliant at the moment... On the contrary, my accordion rendition of the leekspin tune is going very well...
Sunday, 29 November 2009
On a lighter note, on the friday evening we debated the pronounciation of the word 'escalope', as in chicken or turkey escalopes. (flat-ish fillets of breaded chicken or turkey). We came up with a few possible variations, all of which could be correct. Please shed some light on this matter if you know the answer.
- Es - ca - loe - ps
- Es - ca - lops
- E - Sca - lups
When we got home, I said to Ollie, "Wouldn't it be funny if it was possible to down a bottle of wine?"
At this point, I realised it could be possible... i figured that if I could down a pint then i could down a wine bottle at a push. So we tried it, and it worked... for me at least. I knew you guys wouldn't believe me, so I made sure the attempt was filmed just in case.
Needless to so, less than 10 minutes later, I was fairly giggly... and yes, I am aware of the wierd laughter I did after I won.
Saturday, 28 November 2009
The only thing I can do to resolve this is to produce a list for future reference
of things that have happened in the last month.
- I played a match of unicycle hockey, and scored three goals in the process
- I rode a 36" unicycle called a 'coker' and i also rode a 6" mini unicycle
- I had a gap from blogging to paint some eldar harlequins (warhammer)
- Oli spent an 'undisclosed' amount of money on warhammer
- i had Irish stew with an irish person
- Oli built some home made chicken nuggets with tom 'man food' woollacott tried to steal
- I have a new accordion from 1937
- I learned how to use photographic morphing software
- James strutt came to stay, and Oli made burgers
- Wade and Ricky came over, and we drunk a hell of a lot of flanders beer
- I built a wall out of flanders beer and bulmers bottles for my windowsill
- People kept clogging up the fridge with useless items such as bread and marmalade
- this made phil angry- he described him as 'worse than hitler'
- I finished my lab report, thanks to a magic book that me and will found
- There was some fog- i posted a picture of a particularly foggy day
- I posted some pictures of Devon for my Friends in Bath to see
This is what the disaster could be compared to.
- A bug's Life- the bit where flik destroys the harvest. He makes a machine that was supposed to harvest berries faster than 10 ants. But it went wrong. It ruined the harvest. But.. it was rebuilt. The ants were like- 'we're awesome' and beat up the grasshoppers.
2. Jurassic park- John Hammond was like, yeah lets make some dinosaurs from mosquito DNA and frogs. This will work.
3. The san fransisco earthquake- I know its pushing the boat out, but it feels like this to me. 80% of the city was destroyed, but over time it has been rebuilt. This is what is going to happen to my blog.
I will rebel against all that say I should quit, and deny the non-believers. I will soldier on and rebuild this blog to its former glory, and take it back to the level it once was. Tonight, we dine in hell. but soon, we will dine in... I dunno... Pizza hut?
Nonetheless, I will not fizzle out like some 90s fad, I remain for eternity as an undying force of nature. Unstoppable, unresting.
And there it is. prepare yourself for business as usual. despite the loss of many a good post- such .are the casualties of war. I will continue with my quest, whether fate likes it or not.
Friday, 27 November 2009
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
My Frying pan has numerous faults with it, and they built up to the point where i seriously considered just frying an egg on the bare hob because it would be 'easier'. It had become such a chore this morning to use I decided to just throw it away and buy a frying pan that actually 'serves its primary function' of 'frying things'.
First of all, the base of the pan is deformed. So when you put it on a flat surface, it is possible to spin it on a point. Not good. Ordinarily, it wouldn't be a problem, but our hobs are electric. Therefore, they cook by convection (Alan will understand) so only about 2cm squared of my pan actually heats up enough to fry stuff because that is the only section of the pan that is in contact with the hob. In fairness, this does actually provide the phenomenon of frying an egg where only the yolk cooks...
Also, the non-stick surface comes off and sticks to my food. Maybe it means non-stick as in the non-stick doesn't actually stay on the pan. Seriously, it just comes off like paint. So when something sticks and burns on to a section of the pan where the non stick has come off, I clean it off, which drags more of the non-stick surface off. Its a vicious circle.
As a result of the non-stick situation, parts of my food burn onto the pan, creating smoke. By extension, many of my housemates get the impression i'm and idiot and can't cook food properly. I'll show them with my new pan... I think I will name it Michel, after famous chef Michel Roux Jr.
by that logic, my old frying pan should have been called Mr Bean.
Monday, 19 October 2009
Roughly a year and a half ago, there was a man who was feeling hungry, but also impatient and couldn't be bothered to wait the standard food-preparation-time (FPT) that making a meal generally requires. So to save time and double the efficiency, he put two slices of bread in the same slot of the toaster.
When it was ready, we all marvelled at his accidental invention. Well toasted on the outside, soft and starchy on the inside. This followed by a filling of chocolate spread to create something resembling a sandwich, and magic was created in that very room. He labelled his outstanding invention 'BROAST'...
That inventor is none other than physicist, bass player, and long time irish friend of mine, Alan Dermot Octavius O'Brien- as pictured below.
He is also the mastermind behind 'Cariko', which is cake and Doritos. Another Nobel prize winner there Alan. (seriously, try it out)
Watching 'Utensil Pals' this morning again reminded me of what good times we had, and subsequently I instantly knew what I had to do for lunch. I had a toaster. 4 slices of bread. Chocolate spread. I feel like a goddamn Wizard. I took a deep breath, and underwent the process.
2 slices of bread were placed into the toaster.
One side toasted, one side soft.
The chocolate goes into the middle.
The Finished Article minus one bite.
Thanks Alan for such an amazing invention, I will be sure to 'spread' the word. Battery Powered Rock!
If you have watched it more than 2 times and still do not understand, you are quite frankly one of many. Good night, and please don't heckle me as to what this whole thing is about.
What you just witnessed was utensil pals. Good Night.
Saturday, 17 October 2009
A few days was the first social outing exclusively for the juggling club. It was superhero themed, as you can probably tell, but therefore I jumped at the chance to go as my favourite super hero. I will explain how I made the costume.
First of all, i put on a black shirt underneath, in order to create the black neckline. I then cut a pair of tights in half and put them on my arms. Followed by white gloves and a green ring (of course). After that, I put my own green lantern shirt on over the top. I painted the mask on using face paint.
The bottoms are quite clever too- I had some black shorts on underneath, and put a pair of black tights over the top. I then cut the legs off a pair of green tights to make the pants, and used the green legs to wrap around a pair of trainers to make the green shoes! awesome!
One problem was however, that not many people knew who the green lantern was. credit to the 5 or so members of the club who did know, but shame on the rest for not. Someone on the bus even confused the green lantern logo for the oxfam logo, and promptly assumed I was 'Oxfam Man'...
The evening was a resounding success though, and here is a list of some of the good superheroes who turned up:
- Captain Planet
- Captain Hammer
- The Green Lantern
- Mrs. Incredible (elastigirl)
- Wonder woman
- 'Bubble Wrap Boy'
- A Gorilla
- 'Green and Yellow Man'
- Goku from DBZ
- Austin Powers
- Captain Scarlet
- 'Get into my pants man' (he had a pair of 'double-pants' on)
- Peg Man
- 'Ieuan Maiden'
Peg Man (Owen) and Gambit (Ollie)
Captain Scarlet (Andy), Batgirl (Kate), and Captain Hammer (Andy C)
The Green Lantern (Me, notice the green ring) and Catwoman (Fiona)
Friday, 16 October 2009
So what happened? I was just wandering around in the kitchen, then I happened to bump into Tom, who was currently engaging in the consumption of a pasty. He did not look pleased...
I asked him what the problem was, and he explained his predicament. It turns out that he had eaten well over half of the pasty, and only once he had got to the bottom had he found any of the meat filling. This, as quoted, was 'rubbish'. Here is a picture of the pasty in question. What you see here, is the only meat that was actually in the pasty.
This was a fairly brief encounter, as he went on to finish the pasty, promptly grumbling about the lack of meat. As a big fan of his 'Man Food' (just things with meat and fat in them) he was
But he brightened up when he realised how cheap it was. He said 'He didn't expect much more'.
Number One: He dressed up as a bee.
Thats right, a bee. He went to a american football social where the theme was 'yellow'. So by extension, went as a bee. I was even there when he bought the outfit! Strolling up to the counter, he just casually bought a bee suit as if it was something normal. Here he is in all his glory.
'Float like a Bee, Sting like a Butterfly'.
Number Two: He spent well over 10 minutes getting a ladybird out of the room.
It was essentially just flailing and grumbling. But nonetheless, he spent long enough doing it for me to get my camera out. If you look closely, you can see the ladybird on the ceiling in this amazing action shot.
'Float like a ladybird, sting like Phil Murphy'
Number Three: He has amazing quotes:
- I want a T Shirt that says FECK: the Irish connection
- I have never used a microwave
- People that cook well depress me
- I accidentally ate 2 boxes of brownies
- If you came from where I do, your accent would sound stupid too
- Is this can opener broken, or am I just being an Idiot?
- I could drink 5 cups of tea in the time it takes for this kettle to boil!
Thumbs up for frying onions and mushrooms
Thumbs up for bakin' bacon and a new hat
Thumbs up for massive fry ups.
So we began to eat, tucking into our bacon, eggs, beans, sausages, onions and mushrooms. It was amazing, as I have not had a fry up for a fair while. However, it then dawned on us just as we sat down that people were walking past the window, on their way to lectures...
Ollie said, 'what time is it?' To which Tom replied, 'you have less than 10 minutes to eat your fry ups and get to your lectures guys.'
This was a tough one. Do we clingfilm it and eat it later? OR do we eat the whole lot as fast as we could...
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Yesterday, the Juggling society went down to the lake to play with FIRE. Armed with our staffs, poi and clubs, we set about setting the night on fire with our mad skills. We also invited some of the folks from the photography society to come down and take pictures of us using their cool cameras.
I personally enjoy fire staff the most. I am currently being taught by Ieuan Evans, the primarch or the staff users at the club. Below, is a whole bunch of cool photos from that very evening...
First here is a photo of some of us just sorting ourselves out. As you can see, even though it is pitch black, the fire lights up everything.
This is me, performing an overhead spin under high camera exposure
Here is some regular spins too!
Above is the cool part. What you see before you is the before and after of the biggest 'burnoff' I have ever done. When you douse the ends of a fire staff in paraffin, you always end up with excess. So therefore it becomes dangerous to spin it round because flecks of flaming paraffin will fly off and hit people in the face.
So, we do a 'burnoff', which involves throwing the staff in the air at the same time as giving it a hell of a lot of lateral spin, burning off the excess without harming anyone.
Fire is so cool.
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
It was so impressive, and he gave me a few balancing tips. Here is photographic evidence of me performing this feat with the spoon, taken by a passer by at the juggling club during training.
Awesome. I mean, what can you say to say to that. Apart from 'Do a backflip'.
First of all, a band called 'The Squirrel Nut Zippers'.
I will put this band in the category of modern swing, and the lineup is as follows. They have a ukelele, a double bass, a piano, rythm guitar, a violin and whole lot of brass, of course! So as you can tell, they have a fairly quirky sound to them.
If I could recommend a few tracks by them, I would choose 'Interlocutor', 'Hell' and perhaps their covers of 'the suits are picking up the bill' and 'sleigh ride' (thats right, the christmas song). I think Wade may like this band.
Next Up, another odd band called the 'Cherry Poppin' Daddies'.
Wierd name, i know, but they are very good. They also slip into the category of modern swing with a quite brassy/ electric feel to their songs. there is one song in particular that I really like (the others are good as well) called 'Swingin' With Tiger Woods'. This is awesome! Alan, you will most definitely like this because the first line of the song is 'Lets get Hip to the Rythm'. It is pretty hip.
I stongly suggest you have a look at both of these!
Monday, 12 October 2009
Yes, i did actually have to put my face in soup.
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
The evening started well, when we ordered 8 pizzas. The 8 pizzas subsequently arrived, and were subsequently engulfed by the mouths of eastwood 4. We had everything from large hawaiians to medium pepperoni, its fair to say it was a good evening. However, being a university student, it felt wrong to feel that full considering the meagre diet of instant curry we are supposed to be budgeting on... It was an evening to celebrate the end of freshers week and new friends made. And pizza eaten.