Frying Pan = Fail

Today, I threw away my frying pan. And no, not because I could not be bothered to wash it.



My Frying pan has numerous faults with it, and they built up to the point where i seriously considered just frying an egg on the bare hob because it would be 'easier'. It had become such a chore this morning to use I decided to just throw it away and buy a frying pan that actually 'serves its primary function' of 'frying things'.

*Rant*
First of all, the base of the pan is deformed. So when you put it on a flat surface, it is possible to spin it on a point. Not good. Ordinarily, it wouldn't be a problem, but our hobs are electric. Therefore, they cook by convection (Alan will understand) so only about 2cm squared of my pan actually heats up enough to fry stuff because that is the only section of the pan that is in contact with the hob. In fairness, this does actually provide the phenomenon of frying an egg where only the yolk cooks...

*Rant*
Also, the non-stick surface comes off and sticks to my food. Maybe it means non-stick as in the non-stick doesn't actually stay on the pan. Seriously, it just comes off like paint. So when something sticks and burns on to a section of the pan where the non stick has come off, I clean it off, which drags more of the non-stick surface off. Its a vicious circle.

*Rant*
As a result of the non-stick situation, parts of my food burn onto the pan, creating smoke. By extension, many of my housemates get the impression i'm and idiot and can't cook food properly. I'll show them with my new pan... I think I will name it Michel, after famous chef Michel Roux Jr.

by that logic, my old frying pan should have been called Mr Bean.

Spreading the Gospel... about 'Broast'

Some of you may not know what 'Broast' is. I have already explained it to a few of my housemates, and they thought it was a fantastic idea. However, for those who do not know, I will start with a small history lesson...

Roughly a year and a half ago, there was a man who was feeling hungry, but also impatient and couldn't be bothered to wait the standard food-preparation-time (FPT) that making a meal generally requires. So to save time and double the efficiency, he put two slices of bread in the same slot of the toaster.

When it was ready, we all marvelled at his accidental invention. Well toasted on the outside, soft and starchy on the inside. This followed by a filling of chocolate spread to create something resembling a sandwich, and magic was created in that very room. He labelled his outstanding invention 'BROAST'...

That inventor is none other than physicist, bass player, and long time irish friend of mine, Alan Dermot Octavius O'Brien- as pictured below.



He is also the mastermind behind 'Cariko', which is cake and Doritos. Another Nobel prize winner there Alan. (seriously, try it out)

Watching 'Utensil Pals' this morning again reminded me of what good times we had, and subsequently I instantly knew what I had to do for lunch. I had a toaster. 4 slices of bread. Chocolate spread. I feel like a goddamn Wizard. I took a deep breath, and underwent the process.



2 slices of bread were placed into the toaster.



One side toasted, one side soft.



The chocolate goes into the middle.



The Finished Article minus one bite.

Thanks Alan for such an amazing invention, I will be sure to 'spread' the word. Battery Powered Rock!

Utensil Pals! Episode 2!

Because you loved utensil pals so much the first time, here is episode 2. It makes so little sense that it deserved a sequel, but there you go. Featuring Alan and Ricky as the utensils again, enjoy yourself. Watch it as many times as you feel necessary.



If you have watched it more than 2 times and still do not understand, you are quite frankly one of many. Good night, and please don't heckle me as to what this whole thing is about.

Utensil Pals! Episode One!

Well its been a long wait, but here it is- dug up from the archives of my camera by request from Ricky Moysey. Featuring Alan and Ricky, their nonplussed genius as puppeteers will live on forever.



What you just witnessed was utensil pals. Good Night.

Life long Dream Fulfilled

Karys, you said you were pleased when you got an excuse to dress as adam ant- Well, I too can now share your feelings, as I FINALLY got to dress as the GREEN LANTERN!!!



A few days was the first social outing exclusively for the juggling club. It was superhero themed, as you can probably tell, but therefore I jumped at the chance to go as my favourite super hero. I will explain how I made the costume.

First of all, i put on a black shirt underneath, in order to create the black neckline. I then cut a pair of tights in half and put them on my arms. Followed by white gloves and a green ring (of course). After that, I put my own green lantern shirt on over the top. I painted the mask on using face paint.

The bottoms are quite clever too- I had some black shorts on underneath, and put a pair of black tights over the top. I then cut the legs off a pair of green tights to make the pants, and used the green legs to wrap around a pair of trainers to make the green shoes! awesome!

One problem was however, that not many people knew who the green lantern was. credit to the 5 or so members of the club who did know, but shame on the rest for not. Someone on the bus even confused the green lantern logo for the oxfam logo, and promptly assumed I was 'Oxfam Man'...

The evening was a resounding success though, and here is a list of some of the good superheroes who turned up:

• Captain Planet
• Superman
• Captain Hammer
• The Green Lantern
• Batgirl
• Catwoman
• Gambit
• Storm
• Mrs. Incredible (elastigirl)
• Wonder woman
  

However, there were some of the less 'legitimate' superheroes at the party as well...

• 'Bubble Wrap Boy'
• A Gorilla
• 'Green and Yellow Man'
• Bananaman
• Goku from DBZ
• Austin Powers
• Captain Scarlet
• 'Get into my pants man' (he had a pair of 'double-pants' on)
• Peg Man
• 'Civilian'
• 'Ieuan Maiden'

Here are a few pictures from the social.



Peg Man (Owen) and Gambit (Ollie)



Captain Scarlet (Andy), Batgirl (Kate), and Captain Hammer (Andy C)



The Green Lantern (Me, notice the green ring) and Catwoman (Fiona)

Woollacott eats Pasty, then demands Refund

Extra! Extra! Tom Woollacott rages at a pasty he described as 'rubbish'!



So what happened? I was just wandering around in the kitchen, then I happened to bump into Tom, who was currently engaging in the consumption of a pasty. He did not look pleased...

I asked him what the problem was, and he explained his predicament. It turns out that he had eaten well over half of the pasty, and only once he had got to the bottom had he found any of the meat filling. This, as quoted, was 'rubbish'. Here is a picture of the pasty in question. What you see here, is the only meat that was actually in the pasty.



This was a fairly brief encounter, as he went on to finish the pasty, promptly grumbling about the lack of meat. As a big fan of his 'Man Food' (just things with meat and fat in them) he was
furious.



But he brightened up when he realised how cheap it was. He said 'He didn't expect much more'.

The Many Adventures of Phil Murphy

So this is Phil Murphy. He is my Northern Irish neighbour, in room 10. He gets up to all kinds of things, many of which are fairly bizzare...

Number One: He dressed up as a bee.



Thats right, a bee. He went to a american football social where the theme was 'yellow'. So by extension, went as a bee. I was even there when he bought the outfit! Strolling up to the counter, he just casually bought a bee suit as if it was something normal. Here he is in all his glory.



'Float like a Bee, Sting like a Butterfly'.

Number Two: He spent well over 10 minutes getting a ladybird out of the room.



It was essentially just flailing and grumbling. But nonetheless, he spent long enough doing it for me to get my camera out. If you look closely, you can see the ladybird on the ceiling in this amazing action shot.

'Float like a ladybird, sting like Phil Murphy'

Number Three: He has amazing quotes:

• I want a T Shirt that says FECK: the Irish connection
• I have never used a microwave
• People that cook well depress me
• I accidentally ate 2 boxes of brownies
• If you came from where I do, your accent would sound stupid too
• Is this can opener broken, or am I just being an Idiot?
• I could drink 5 cups of tea in the time it takes for this kettle to boil!
  

'Interested in Phil Murphy? Check out his blog!'