This isn't a fork

Everyone has their things that really wind them up. I personally have a fair number of 'pet peeves' as they are known. I mean to begin with I cannot stand poor spelling, listening to teenage girls (like 15 and below) talk about things on the bus, excessive makeup like loads of that foundation stuff, poor manners... I could go on, but this would just go on forever and it wouldn't be fun for anyone.

A relative newcomer to my list of hates, is forks. Or no actually, forks are fine. Its the things that pretend to be forks that are in question. Ages ago, I watched an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory'. I don't think I need to explain what that show is.

 Anyway, in one scene, Leonard says something like "can you pass me that fork?"
To which Sheldon replies, "that is not a fork, that is a trident. A fork has FOUR tines, not three."

And you know what, he was right. Since he said that, I have become increasingly frustrated with all these tridents that people keep giving me to eat with. I know its petty, but I can't unrealise what has been realised.

What I like the most about forks is the word 'tine'. A lot of people call it a prong, but tine is the real word and sounds a lot better. I know there has to be a word for every part of every thing, but I am just glad that tine works so well. Definitely up there with my favourite words. (such as moot, and egregious) 

The rest of the fork world have got it right, across the board! For example:

The standard, metal, dinner fork.

This is a very common fork, and often the one which usually gets replaced with a trident in the home. Note: 4 tines. I think we can agree that 4 is a fork, 3 is a trident, and 2 or 1 is just a skewer or something. I wouldn't eat with just 2 tines, thats half the fun gone.

The plastic, disposable fork. Once again, 4 tines, even though its cheap and you can throw it away.

The spork! What a fantastic piece of cutlery. And because it is half spoon half fork (not half trident) even IT has 4 tines.

I tell you another thing, even the gardening department have got the right number of tines for their 'pitchfork'. Fun fact: the word fork is derivation from the Latin 'furca', which literally means pitchfork.

And finally, look at this. This is the bastard that winds me up. The 3 tined fork. Oh wait no, its not, is it. It just doesn't look right and it feels weird to eat with. For forks sake. Or for tridents sake or whatever.